Again

27.

Blood. That's all I could see. I sat on the shower floor watching as the water washed the small amount of blood away from my hip. I'm not suicidel. It's just one of many wrong ways to relieve stress.
The white tub turned pink where the blood ran to the drain, chased by the water.
I did it for an amount of reasons. I'm not one to voice my feelings or to show weakness. I had made sure Kylee got home and was alright before I locked myself in my bathroom. I refused to go with my mom and Fred to the police department to make a statement claiming that I had nothing more to say.
Tanner was fixing my window while Aron helped clean up the mess.
Flashback
"Emilee." Kylee giggled as I tickled her making her fall on my bed. Her blonde curled hair fell around her head.
"Oh no you fell over!" I giggled smiling genuinely for the first in a while.
"Stop I'm going to pee myself!" She laughed trying to squirm away. That's when I felt like I was being watched. I stopped and looked at Kylee. She calmed down before looking at me.
"What's wrong?" A voice that I recognized to well.
"What do you want?" I pulled myself up and turned around to see a gun pointed at my head. Kylee clung to my hand.
"Oh isn't this cute? My daughter and her girlfriend." He smiled. He looked nothing like me.

End of flashback:

I stood up and washed away the rest of the blood before turning the water off. I pulled the curtain and grabbed my towel. I wrapped my hair before grabbing a black towel and drying my body avoiding the blood. When I was somewhat dry I grabbed the gauze and body wrap. When it was good I grabbed my batman jersey and pulled it on before grabbing underwear and black Bastet ball shorts. I took the towel off my head and grabbed my brush. I brushed my hair starring at my reflection.
I'm so pathetic. I cut my hips so people don't see the scars. I'm lesbian. What went wrong? Why can't I like guys? Most likely because I don't like the idea of blow jobs. But what did I do to deserve this? I act like a Queen but I feel like nothing but a commoner.
I walk tall when my shadow is looking at the ground. I smile when my shadow is crying. But most of all.
No one knows that I gave up and my demons are running the show.
My fight left years ago.
"Emilee?" There was a knock at my door. "Do you want to talk?" It was Aron. I sighed. I began to braid my hair from one side to the other letting it fall over my shoulder. "You don't have to talk if you don't want to." I grabbed my face lotion and rubbed it on my face before grabbing my vanilla scented body lotion. I ran it over my arms. I then lifted the jersey and spread the liquid over my stomach and chest and lower back.
"Emilee I don't want you to go through this alone." He tried the nob.
I then moved my shorts so I could get my upper thighs. When my body was fully covered in lotion I opened the door.
"I'm tired and I have had a long day if you'll excuse me." I stated showing a blank face. I went to walk away when he grabbed my arm. My reflex kicked in and with my other hand I smacked him. He let go and touched the side of the face I hit. My breathing became heavy. "I said if you'll excuse me." I stated again and walked to my bed. He left the room.
"Nice hit." Tanner complimented grabbing his tools and leaving the room closing the door. I walked to the window and pulled the curtains closed. I sighed. I didn't even have the motivation to brush my teeth.
I climbed into my bed and grabbed my phone. I staired at it for a moment.

E- night
Abuelá- goodnight honey. I hope you sleep well. I love you never forget that. Your mom is on her way home.

I turned my phone off and plugged it in.
I made sure I wasn't lying on my right side because of my still fresh wound.

"She did what?!" Yep my mother was home. "I don't care she hit you!" She walked up the stairs but stopped outside my door.
I closed my eyes and slowed my breathing and tried to coax myself to sleep.
The door opened letting the hall light in. Her shadow fell over the bed. She stepped in and took her jacket off closing the door.
"Why did you hit him?" She whispered sitting on the bed.
"He grabbed my arm." I stated with my eyes closed. She set a hand on my hip. I bit my lip to keep myself from giving it away that it hurt.
"What's on your hip?" She whispered and rubbed it. I pulled away and walked to the bathroom. I closed the door and locked it. "Emileeeee." She groaned trying the nob. I fell to the ground and placed my head in my hands and cried.
There was a sound from the door before it moved in moving me to the side.
"Emilee." She closed the door sitting next to me. She pulled me to her lap and held me as I cried. A sob ripped through my body. I knew she was there but I was still alone inside my head. I couldn't let anyone in. The door to my dungeon of a castle was shut permanently. I could here the clash on the other side as many tried to free me.
"Sh. I have you. I'll make it ok. Your my baby. We'll get through this just hang tight for me." She kissed the top of my head.

Only because it's Thanksgiving and I'm on break.