Spencer Reid One Shots

Jealousy

I take it all back
All that I said
It comes out too fast
So I just couldn't help
The way that I felt
I started the fire.

You regretted it, opening up to him, telling Spencer you liked him, that you were fairly certain you were in love with him.

Your timing was shitty yes, he'd started seeing someone, a bartender he'd met whilst you'd been working a case. As his best friend you'd actually encouraged him to ask her out, not even realising you had feelings for him that way until he'd actually done it and they'd started dating. And then suddenly you couldn't stand it, you hated hearing him talking about, hating hearing him breathe her name. But he did, all the time, asking you for advice on what to wear on dates, where to take her.

When they'd been dating for two months he brought her along on a team night out. And she was nice, if she was anyone else you would have befriended her, gotten along with her. But you couldn't. When she spoke you felt irritated with her, seeing Spencer's hand on her leg made you somehow furious, you'd wanted to smack it away.

Sitting next to them at table, you'd been able to hear them as they leaned in close to each other, whispering to each other. And then suddenly you couldn't take it anymore, grabbing your coat and heading outside for a breather.

Watching you walk
I followed you there
Standing too close
It's hurting.
I pictured the words
The warmth of your breath.
I started the fire
It's burning.

It had been Emily that had followed you, bringing a bottle of water with her in case you'd just had too much to drink. But she caught you looking through the photo gallery on your phone, sifting through the many photos you had of you and him together.

"Oh Y/N," she'd sighed putting her arm around your shoulder.

You'd looked at her confused, not even knowing what she was "Ohing" at.

"Why didn't you tell him first?"

"Tell who what, Em?"

"Spencer.... That you like him."

"But I don't.... "

And then suddenly it all made sense. He was your best friend, the first person you'd connected with at the BAU, which after a girl's night out you'd discovered didn't happen with Spencer often. It was him that you told all your secrets to, him that you went to when you were upset. It was him that you felt the most comfortable around, knowing that you could turn up at his apartment dressed in yours pajamas with no make up on and he wouldn't judge you. Somewhere along the way your feelings had changed from loving him as a friend, to wanting more from him. To perhaps even being in love with him. But you hadn't realised until now. Until he'd finally found a girlfriend, one that you'd encouraged him to get.

As your brain had processed the words Emily had said you'd found yourself breaking down and sobbing.

"Shit. Oh shit Emily, I like him. Oh fuck."

And it feels like jealousy
And it feels like I can't breathe
And I'm on, down on my knees
And it feels like jealousy.

She'd taken you home in a cab and sat with you whilst you'd cried, before you finally pulled yourself together resolving that there was nothing you could do about this now.

The look on Emily's face said that there was but that she'd leave that matter alone.

She did, and so did you, choosing to distance yourself from him instead. Since she'd come on the scene your nights in together had reduced drastically anyway. But the few times he asked if you were free you lied, saying you had plans. He didn't question you, until the one night you bumped into him at your local take out when you'd lied and told him you were out of town that weekend.