new perspective

late nights & coffee

that time when you're feeling heavy, the weight of everything that's in your mind is crashing down into your skull

tearing through bones and thoughts
and landing straight into your empty stomach, a strange feeling dissipating and spreading in your gut, making it twist uneasily

and after a few moments it gets too much every thought tries to seep down through the cracks,
trying to affect you as much as possible
and this time you decide you will not let it get to you

you glance at the digital clock by your nightstand that flashes 2:04 am
and it's too late for you to go out and have a walk in the park like you usually do

you try turning to your pet for comfort, but as soon as you try reaching for them,
you stop
simply admiring the way they are curled up on a small patch of carpet next to your bed

and instead of bothering them, you simply stroke their head
the way they lean into your palm already makes you feel a little bit better

then you get off your bed, silently pushing the duvet off your body and shuffling towards the door

when you open it, your pet shifts slightly in discomfort, raising their head with sleepy eyes and you just whisper quietly for them to go back to sleep

you are pleasantly surprise when they listen to you, resting their head back on their paws just like the way they fell asleep

you walk carefully to the kitchen, trying to be as silent as possible so you don't wake your parents or your brother who might still be awake on his computer

and then you make yourself a cup of coffee, the hot liquid swirling into a lighter shade once you start pouring the milk

this time when you return,
your pet doesn't seem to be bothered
but you pat their head lovingly anyway
and take a seat on your bed, adjusting the pillows behind your back,
and grabbing a book that you were trying to read previously from the nightstand

just as you turn the first crisp page of the book, your lips touch the rim of the cup, the bittersweet taste exploding on your tongue and warmth traveling down your throat

and then you feel it hit your stomach

deep down
as it begins to soothe the ache,
the constant churning
and when you take another sip,
it's almost gone

the uneasiness that was previously trying to invade your body has returned back to your mind, slowly healing the crack in your skull

and every time your eyes skim over a new paragraph it seems to dissolve into nothingness, the coffee and the rhythm of words seeming to swallow all your worries

when your alarm clock beeps next to you, your eyes shift towards it,
the time reading 3:00 am
and that is when you place the bookmark inside the book, keeping the empty cup of coffee on the nightstand as if it would keep you company for the night

and as soon as you rest your head on the pillow your thoughts seem to be returning again, scratching at the freshly healed wound in your skull
and your eyebrows furrow in discomfort

but that's when the caffeine hits you, slowly putting your thoughts to sleep and you can feel your mind blanking out, free from thoughts

and maybe coffee helps everyone stay awake, but that day, coffee helped you fall asleep when nothing else did