I Love You Because

October 17th

        I woke up at 7:00 am to my blaring alarm clock, stifling my groan in my pillow. I knew that I needed to get up and shower if I didn't want to go to school looking like death itself, but I somehow couldn't drag myself from my fetal position under the soft blankets. I cracked my eyes open slightly, everything in my line of vision blurry and out of focus. I reached beside my bed, fingers feeling around for the dangling light switch. When I finally found it, I squeezed my eyes shut in preparation for the blinding light.

         It took me around ten minutes to actually get out of bed, and then another thirty to shower, get dressed, and do everything else I needed to do to get ready for school. I drearily stumbled my way down the stairs, to find my mother laying on the couch with a squinting expression as if she was in pain.

         "Headache," she said, not opening her eyes. "Have fun at school, dear."

         "Thanks mom, feel better!" I called, already halfway out of the door. I had started to feel a bit sick myself, and I could tell the queasiness had nothing to do with the fact that I had skipped breakfast. I felt physically weighed down with the guilt of essentially stealing my mother's credit card the night before, but I really couldn't afford to get distracted today. I had two tests, a quiz, and a project due, all for different classes, and on top of that, I needed to come up with another reason that I love Nina. Not that the latter would be difficult, it was more a matter of caution and perfection with this already precarious situation.

        I walked to the bus stop with earbuds in my ears and my nose shoved in a book, hoping to avoid the conversational menace that tended to strike in the mornings. My poor ears just simply weren't ready for such torment. But, of course, the universe doesn't like me enough to spare my ears, as was evident when I heard a high pitched squeal from ahead of me.

        "Astrid! Hi! How are you? I heard you failed a science test, is it true? I thought you were a really good student... Well, never mind all that, do you think you'll do better next time?"

        Without even looking up from the pages in my hand I responded, "Rose, it's very early, would you mind not screaming in my ear?"

        I could practically hear the disappointment in the enthusiastic younger girl's silence, and I sighed.

        "I'm doing well, I did fail, I like to think of myself as a smart kid who makes mistakes, and yes, I think I'll do better next time."

        I looked at Rose's beaming face out of the corner of my eye, a small smile tugging at my lips despite my efforts to restrain it. I heard her footsteps grow farther away as she bounded away to her next victim, leaving me alone with my book and my thoughts.

        The bus ride was rather uneventful, and so was the school day that followed. I was ready to jump out of the window in English class, but I managed to get through the period of insistent droning by clenching my teeth until my jaw bruised. Basically like every other day, unfortunately.

        Then there was a single ray of sunshine peeking through the bleakness of school, coming from one of the most unexpected sources.

        "Hi again! How are you? I just made a new friend can you believe it? His name is Joe and he's new and I'm so excited!"

        I looked down at the insistent tugging on my arm, sighing down at the shorter girl and wondering why misfortune had to befall me twice in one already long day.

        "Hello, Rose."

        "Hey! I'm so excited! Joe is so nice, and he didn't run away from me! Here he comes!" she squealed, pointing down the hallway.