Toxic (Harry Styles)

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living.

"So, I've been thinking," I start off vaguely as Harry sets off down the road from the studio just as I buckle up.

"Of, god. Should I be worried?" Harry's vision flickers from the road to my eye for a second.

"Well, I don't know if you'll like the idea." He doesn't say anything as he continues driving, waiting for me to go ahead  and spit it out. "I think I'm going to go stay with my dad again."

I don't look at him whilst I say it, afraid of his rebuke and anger, but when nothing comes, I slowly open my eyes. We've stopped at a red light, but Harry's hands are a ghostly white, Harry's lips are set in a thin line and his jaw is clenched. It was only when the light turned green and the Rover took off again Harry spoke through gritted teeth.

"Why the hell would you want to go back there?" He growls. Well, that's better than I expected.

I sigh─ in relief or fear, I can't tell. "It's just...I haven't seen him in two weeks─"

"And for a good reason, too!"

"Harry, he's still my dad," I roll my eyes. "Nothing can change that."

He huffs, "Why would a father hit his child for no damn reason? Please, Shay, tell me."

I press further back in the chair as Harry becomes more and more frustrated. I don't like seeing him like this, like how he is when he's ready to charge at someone. I've seen him like that too many times, but never like this, when he seems calm enough, but he's really boiling under the skin.

"I-I don't know," I lie, knowing full and well why my father hit me.

"Yes, you do," he retorts and I wonder if he can read my mind for the moment. It certainly would be easier than saying it aloud. Harry's fuming now, his nose flares and his hands are wrapped around the wheel to the point it looks like it hurts, but I don't think he notices. Yet I do.

"Harry," I address softly, reaching over the consol and rest my hand on top of his as he races down the road. "Harry, please just slow do─"

"No!" He booms throughout the car as I watched the speedometer needle move closer to higher numbers. I wish I knew what was going through his head right now. "Tell me, Shay, because I haven't asked you. I've given you space, not pressuring you into telling me. But now, if you want to go back to the son of a bitch, you have to tell me why you left in the first place!"

We've approached the 70 tick mark on an empty road, and thank God there's no police around or we'd surely be pulled over.

"Okay," I agree frantically. "Fine, Harry, but please, please pull over first."

My seemingly composed voice and rhythmic strokes across Harry's knuckles must've gotten through to his as I see the needle steadily go down and Harry begins to pull over to the shoulder of the road. He shifts the car in park and I carefully tangle out fingers together in the space between us.

"Just know that whatever I may say, or you may construe from this...it doesn't change a thing. If I go live with my dad, I'm still your girl, okay?" 

Harry faces me with a blank face, but his clutch on my hand becomes harder. I search his green eyes for something─ anything. A sign of emotion that seems impossible to get from him in times like this. Heart of stone. And yet, I still don't fully believe he has that heart. From the time I met him and now, I can see the change, no matter how small. Of course, he still has anger issues, and is too over possessive, but I can only hope that changes.