Andley OneShots ✔

I Quit

✖✖😭

Andy

-

The constant yelling...the back and forth....the sleeping on the couch and not talking for days is killing me. 

Ever since Ashley and I got married, we've decided to have a baby. We were so excited and happy to be parents. Unfortunately, along the way, Ash lost the baby. It was a dark time for us. Ashley would ea, couldn't sleep, and I was in the same bout. Me being a father, that was what I've always imagined. Then Ashley would always become angry. Angry at me, angry at our friends, pretty much everyone who has or is going to have a baby.

Then Ashley would always think I'm cheating on him when I would stay out long nights; Thinking I would get someone else pregnant because he can't. It hurt to see how Ashley's starting to lose his trust for me. I've done some thinking, I can't do this anymore. I love Ashley, I really do, but.....can we really go on like this? can we survive this? can we overcome it? I don't no...I don't think so. I feel like this is starting to become such a burden for me...for us. We've even done counseling to help fix our relationship but it's gotten worse. Losing the baby really damaged Ashley. Even saying the word 'damage' would be an understatement. It's like he doesn't care about my feelings, how I feel about all this. It's not just you that lost the baby, we did. 

I brought it up to Ashley that I wanted to end things and that only made it worse than it already was. How it that possible? The divorce was over and done with, and we were free from one another. I say that like I'm happy...I'm not. I love Ashley and I want to be with him but I don;t see a future with him if crap like this is going to keep continuing. Getting a divorce made Ashley think that I was cheating on him and already had a family someplace else and wanted to cut ties with him. This can't be the same Ashley I fell in love with during High school years. The same sweet angel that loves Hello Kitty, and plays music and loves to sing. 

After all the anger and the tears were over and done with, I moved out. Yes, I let Ashley keep the place. I settled somewhere in Florida and started on rebuilding my life and forgetting the past which I can't. With dating, I've decided to put that off for a while until I felt ready to try again. There are nights where I find myself still thinking about him and how he's doing...wondering if he's thinking of me as I think of him. I doubt it. Maybe we rushed into the marriage thing. Is that it? If that were the case, I don't think that would make a difference. If we waited a little longer, would anything change? would we still be married and have a child to love and care for? I don't know...and I'm don't thinking about this.

I love you Ash, but I quit...