The Dear Wattpad Project (Mavin)

7

Dear Wattpad,

                I decided to follow the majority of your suggestions and confront Gavin about what happened that night. It’s been about a week since then, so we both had time to breathe and think about whatever the hell happened. Even though I wasn’t completely sure that Gavin remembered the incident, I cornered him after work today with the promise of driving him home afterwards.

                I’m not even going to BS my way out of this; I was nervous as fuck when Geoff, the last of the other Achievement Hunters, drunkenly stumbled out of the office and slammed the door shut behind him. There was a silence as Gavin and I stared at each other from our seats at our desks.

I had just begun to wish that Gavin really didn’tremember me crying like a bitch when he slowly questioned, “Did something happen when you came over last week that I should know about?” His motherfucking green eyes glimmered a bit. I was reminded of his video of his irises on the Slo-Mo Guys channel and had to bite my lip to keep myself from blushing.

“Do you remember anything?” I was trying desperately to avoid the question that I should’ve been asking.

He cocked his head at me. “You seem nervous,” he remarked, and I had to remind myself to breathe because it was so fucking true.

Breathing out shakily, I replied, “Oh, really?” My palms were beginning to sweat against the hard plastic arms of my chair that I was gripping so tightly.

“Michael, if you don’t want to tell me, it’s alright,” Gavin said gently. He was staring at me like I was fine china on the precipice of grandma’s shelf, just waiting to fall.

I didn’t want him to think of me this way. I didn’t want to be treated strangely just because my emotions were fucking me in the ass because of this stupid crush-thing I had on Gavin. I didn’t want it to control my life.

After a moment of silent contemplation, I leaned back in my chair and relaxed my tense shoulders. “No, it’s okay… I’m just a little on edge, y’know?”

He nodded and I took it as a signal to continue.

“Anyways, you maybe almost kissed me and I maybe stopped you because you were drunk and I didn’t want you to regret anything later and possibly I started whining about it and you… Uh, well, we cuddled and I acted like nothing happened.” A second passed before I added, “If you remember any of this, it’d be nice if you told me.”

Gavin looked shocked for a bit before face scrunched up with worry. “I don’t remember because I was so bevvied up. But I believe you.”

His expression kept getting more and more and more concerned before I began, “Well, there are a lot more games coming out later this month for the PS4…”

Immediately, the conversation about my welfare was over and we were in a much more familiar territory: video games. Gavin became more enthused when I mentioned the mods for new indie games I was planning to use for future Rage Quits and began pitching in. I was both relieved and sad that there was no more talk about us and only about electronics.

Well, there you go. I abandon you for a while and return with this. Honestly, this thing I have with Gavin can go in any direction: the way towards happiness and sunshine and butterflies and all that bullshit that people call “love” and the shit way of shitiness. It’s all up to you; you’ve led me this far, so I’ll follow you guys wherever you take me next. Comment and tell me what I need to do now that Gavin knows.

-          Michael Vincent Jones