My Baby Girl

Chapter 3.

After what happend yesturday, Eric and I didn't talk. He didn't get home until late, and by then I was already trying to sleep. He still climbed into bed with me, but there was an uneasy feeling I couldn't fully shake off. It was late though, so I didn't ask him anything or say anything. I made sure he didn't know I was awake, and we both fell asleep afterwards.

The next morning I woke up early again. At around five in the morning I was already awake. All I kept thinking about was Hayden. As I laid wide awake in the bed, I felt this urge to go to Hayden's room. I wanted to go, but I felt like I couldn't. After seeing how my daughters room was, I felt guilty going in Hayden's room. At this point I felt a bit torn. I wanted to feel the comfort of Hayden's room, but at the same time I didn't want to feel the guilt that came with it.

I wanted to fix my daughters room, and I wanted to do it soon, just not today. Today was Hayden's birthday, and it should be about Hayden today.

Instead of going into Hayden's room, I went to the kitchen. I didn't want to go to Hayden's room, so instead I felt like maybe I could distract myself. I could cook, and once Eric wakes up he can be surprised with breakfast on the table. I haven't cooked in a very long time, so he'll be very surprised.

~*~

Eric took a while to wake up, so I had plenty of time to finish cooking. When he did wake up, he was shocked, and I couldn't help but smile. I felt bad about yesturday, and I know he probably felt bad too.

"Did you cook?" Was the first thing he asked me. I smiled at him and nodded.

"Yeah, figured it was time for me to get out of my slump," I answered.

Eric walked over to me, he hugged me and kissed my forehead.

"I'm really sorry about last night, I didn't mean for it to go that far," he apologized. I pulled away a bit from his arms, so I could see his face clearly.

"Don't apologize, I'm the one that should be sorry. You're right, I've been neglecting our daughter. I thought about it a lot, and you're right. Our daughter is just as important as Hayden, and just how I stayed strong for him I have to do the same with Grace."

"Grace?" Eric questioned. Did I just call our daughter Grace? I'm still really fond of the idea to name her after my sister, but I haven't had a chance to talk to Eric about it.

"Yeah, I was thinking of baby names last night and Grace was the first one that came to mind. I would love to name our daughter after my sister, but only if you're okay with it too." Eric hugged me a little tight, but he made sure not hurt the baby.

"I'm just glad you thought of a name for our daughter, but yes we can name her Grace. It's a beautiful name, and even though I never really got to meet your sister I know she was a wonderful person."

I felt like I wanted to cry, thinking about Grace, but I held my tears in.

"Come on, let's eat," I told him.

~*~

Although it was Hayden's birthday, Eric and I decided to spend the day looking for things for our daughter and Hayden. We were going from store to store, buying a few of the necessities both children will need but that was expected since we already had most of Hayden's things. I decided it was time to clean out Hayden's closet, since the clothes we have in there will be too small for him when we find him.

We also decided not to buy Hayden more clothes. We won't know what size clothes he'll wear when we find him, so as much as it did hurt we decided not to buy him clothes. I guess when he comes back to us there will be one thing missing, and that's what he'll be able to wear.

~*~

Once we got home, Eric insisted on me wearing a blind fold. I was really confused on why, but at the end I didn't argue with him about it.

"You sure I need a blind fold?" I questioned him. Eric placed the blind fold over my eyes, and soon all I saw was darkness.

"Yes you do, and just trust me, okay?"

Eric started to guide me, I wasn't too sure where since we were just at home. I walked as he lead me through the house. I heard the back yard door open, and carefully I stepped outside. We walked a few steps more, until we finally came to a complete stop.

Eric slipped off the blind fold, and soon light hit my eyes. It was already dark outside, so the gazebo Eric had built looked beautiful. I hadn't fully seen the structure, until now. It was filled with Christmas lights, and my heart warmed at the sight. It reminded me about how I fell in love with Eric.

I was so preoccupied with the gazebo, I almost didn't notice Isiah or Charlotte.

"Hey, what are you guys doing here?" I questioned them. I quickly hugged Isiah, and right after hugged Charlotte.

"Eric invited us. Hayden isn't here to celebrate his birthday, but we still wanted to wish him a happy birthday. We didn't forget," Isiah said. I smiled at him. These two also got very attached to Hayden, and I don't blame them. Hayden is such a lovable child, it felt like everyone fell in love with him after they first met him.

We all walked into the gazebo, and a small table stood in the middle with a small birthday cake. The one single candle standing on it was lit. I smiled at sight, knowing it was just for Hayden.

Eric stood by my side, hugging me close to his body. It felt really comforting.

"There isn't enough words in the world to say how I'm feeling right now," I started to say. "I miss Hayden like crazy, and I really hate the fact that he's not here with us for his first birthday. I promise though, I promise you Eric and I promise our unborn daughter. I promise, I will balance out this life I have now. I need to balance out looking for Hayden, and I need to balance out taking care of our daughter. Also, I want to help out at Java Beans again, I know all the stress is on you, Eric. I'm done with this phase of me just laying around. Hayden needs me, and so does our daughter. I really am sorry about everything I've put everyone through. All I can hope for is for everything just to be better from here."

I felt as Eric squeezed my arm a bit, as if letting me know he heard me loud and clear.

"I remember when I first met Hayden. He was still a new born, and he was this tiny beautiful thing. I honestly feel like I fell in love with him right then and there. I know you miss him, and I miss him like crazy too. You and me are in this together though. You and me are gonna find him together, and we're going to raise both of our kids together. Aaliyah, you and I may not be Hayden's biological parents, but he will always be our son."

"Can I go next?" Charlotte asked. I nodded towards her. "I remember when Hayden first walked into the coffee shop with Isiah it was your baby shower, and that's when I also first met him. It's crazy to think that I have a nephew, because he is my nephew. I fell in love with that kid too, and I'm hurting that he's gone too. I loved watching him for you, Aaliyah. Once he comes back to us, I want to watch him again and this time with his little sister. I really admire you two, because even though you went through your mourning phase hard, Aaliyah, you're coming back on top."

"I remember how much I helped out with Hayden," Isiah started to say, "I didn't mind though, I fell in love with him too. You Aaliyah have been my best friend for a really long time, and when I found out about Hayden I was scared for you. I saw how much love and care you put into that boy, and even though sometimes you had no idea what you were doing, you never gave up. Today Hayden turns one, I can't say that he'll remember you Aaliyah, I can't say that he'll remember any of us, but I do know that he still must love you. I would hope he still somewhat recognizes us though, he's a really smart kid."

My heart warmed as everyone had something to say about Hayden. I smiled at all the faces here, surrounding the cake. Hayden might not be here, but he still has a group of people waiting for him.

I blew out the candle on the cake. Even though it wasn't my birthday, I made a wish. I wished for Hayden to come back to us.