CHAPTER NINE

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A WEEK LATER

Lexie smiled as she walked into the OR. Mark let her work on a surgery with him today. They were going to perform a transplant on a man's arms. It was Lexie's first surgery after the accident and she was ecstatic to be in the OR again.
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"Torres, you need any help?" Lexie asked, eager to do something else.

"I could retract that for you,"
"Want me to patch that?"
"Are you sure–" all of the surgeons spoke at once.

"Everyone, just shut up and give me a second" Callie said, looking at the arm she was reconnecting to a male's body.

Lexie loved operating. Correction, she loves operating. She loves waking up every morning to the sound of her pager going off. She loves going to work. She loves saving lives. She loves making people feel better.

There are also some things she hates about operating. Death. She hated death. Death was one of her biggest fears. She hated seeing the look of the person who she broke the news to. "I'm sorry, we did the best we could" is what they always said. It didn't feel like the best they could do. Maybe if they tried harder, the person could have lived. Maybe if they had gotten to the tumor faster, the person could have lived. If the person didn't give up, could they have lived?

Lexie sighed and looked over at Mark. He was already looking at her. He seemed like he was smiling, but Lexie couldn't tell if he was smiling due to the surgical mask coving his mouth. Lexie smiled back.

Lexie turned her head away from Mark, now looking at the arm Callie was re-attaching.

"Okay," Callie started. "Picture and sound, I think"

Mark nodded and picked up the suction. He cleared the arm of any blood to allow Callie to continue operating.

"Come on.." Callie murmured, waiting for the pale arm to turn to a tan-ish color.

Lexie stared at the arm impatiently. She waited for it to turn that tan color the whole room wanted it to turn. If it didn't, she was already prepared. "Im sorry, we did the best we could" Lexie would say to the man's wife. It would tear Lexie apart inside. Those words tore her apart. It always did. She hated saying them. She knew him and his wife were waiting for him to come out of surgery and get those two arms. Gotcha! Guess you're going to have to wait a couple of more years.

Lexie felt a wave of relief when she saw the arm turn the tan color the whole room wanted.
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"How you feeling, Grey?" Mark asked, looking at Lexie as they walked through the hallway.

"I'm feeling great, thank you for letting me in on the surgery!" Lexie said with a smile which showed her teeth.

Mark smiled and nodded.
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double update (;
xx nya

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