I'm Straight I Swear!? (BoyxBoy)

12- MasquerGAY'D part 2

A/N Here you go, part 2, there might be a part 3 haven't exactly decided yet xD But yeah, remember to vote and comment, and fan please and thankies :) Pic to the side is of Jared.

 

“What the Fuck was that?” I asked, as Mason pulled his lips from mine, his eyes were wide as he stared at me in confusion.

“...I thought that’s what you wanted...”

“I wanted you to fucking hurt me!” I countered angrily...and in a way he had, as once again I felt the pain in my chest. My heart was aching for him, betraying me, my family, my religion as it developed feelings for a guy I’d probably never get to call mine. I could see it in his face, the way he looked at me. He still had Matthew’s face in his heart, his name sewed deeply in his chest. I could never repair the damage, and nothing I did now would ever erase what I had done then. I had killed Matthew and there wasn’t an apology good enough that could bring him back.

“Yeah I know that’s why I kissed you instead” replied Mason.

“Huh?” I asked dazed.

“If you think I’m going to hurt you, then obviously I’m doing something wrong here”

“Huh?” I repeated as he chuckled, the vibration running through me since I still sat on his chest.

“I like you Colin. You’re a complete idiot, a self serving bastard, and a homophobic jerk. But I like you”

I was still a little confused at him as I stared at him in complete and utter shock. “You like me?”

“Don’t ask me why, but I do, and there’s no point resisting that anymore, I know what you did to Matthew but hating you isn’t going to bring him back, and frankly it’s too much effort.” He stated.

“But aren’t you afraid of what people will think? I killed your boyfriend, I should be your worst enemy, and you should be leader of the; I hate Colin Club but...”

“I like you?” He finished for me as I nodded meekly. “Yeah, well I don’t really care what people think besides, after the stunt you pulled at school yesterday, I don’t think people will really mind”

I began blushing furiously “Sorry ‘bout that” I muttered.

“Don’t worry about it, it was cute I’ll admit, even Matthew would agree” he assured as he kissed me again. It was only a fleeting peck but still my heart flipped. I couldn’t understand it, how I go from hating gays one minute to being one the next. I thought I knew where I stood in my life, but the ground beneath my feet has been shaken and nothing is for sure anymore.

Except the hatred I know my parents will feel when they find out they have a gay son.

“So wait...are we together now?” I asked, suddenly realizing that I didn’t actually know, he hadn’t said anything after all...

He shook his head, and my heart sank just a little “I’m not ready for that just yet, even though you aren’t the same guy you were, I can’t forget what you did...and no matter how hard I try I can’t stop loving him”

“I...I understand” I stated sadly casting my eyes downward, unable to meet his.

“I really am sorry” he said tilting my chin upwards so that my eyes met his. I could see him startle when he saw that mine were filled with tears. I wouldn’t let them fall, but I couldn’t yet blink them away.

I was fucking disgusting. I was almost crying over a guy. Every fibre of my being screamed at me how wrong it all was, but at the end of the day my heartfelt the way it felt and no amount of praying to God would change that. I realize now that sexuality is not something you get a say in, God may be against it but he is powerless to change it. This is the way we are, for better or for worse, the Bible can say what it wants against it but the words in that book will never stop me from caring about Mason. Even my own parent’s hatred is not prevention for my feelings, I will feel the way I feel and I am tired of resisting it. At first I would have done anything to be straight, but the moment Mason’s lips touched my own I gave up that wish and I gave up fighting and decided to just go with the flow.