Club Penguin || l.h.

4.5

August 8th, 2016 - Heavy goodbyes.

I woke up the next morning to a beautiful day roaring outside. Birds zoomed through Liz's garden, racing each other to the massive tree in the backyard, which was slowly regaining its leaves. A grey sky lay beyond the sliding glass doors, decorated with sporadically-placed puffy cotton candy clouds. I stood up and relished the feeling of the fuzzy socks coating my feet as I walked to the enticing view.

A sinking feeling settled in once I remembered the events of last night, one so intense that I surrendered to my knees and held my head in my hands.

How could an all-expense-paid trip to Australia end so poorly? How could I have been played like this?

I intended to call my dad to tell him everything, but a sticky note on my phone distracted me.

"Teni,

I'll be in the studio today. Michael asked me to help him write some songs. If you need anything, it's yours. There's blueberry muffins in the kitchen. Please eat.

Sincerely, yours :)"

What I assumed to be the studio's address was scrawled on the back in messy print. I crumpled the paper and shot it into a trash can in the corner before collapsing back onto the couch. A particular sensation of heaviness overwhelmed me to the point that I couldn't bring myself to stand up. My eyes stared blankly at the white ceiling above me, focusing on a damned water stain in the shape of a heart.

* * *

My pathetic self spent the entire day curled on his couch watching daytime television and cursing the couples in Lifetime movies. I felt halfway between physically ill and homesick. An Iron Man plate on my left held two empty muffin wrappers and a finished pudding cup. I hadn't even attempted to comb through the rats nest on my head yet. I'd never allowed myself to wallow in self-pity to this extent.

How was I struggling to get over a boy I had never dated in the first place?

Heartbreak was an unfamiliar term to me, not that this particular case would be classified as heartbreak (or so I kept telling myself). I prided myself in not getting emotional with boys. I bragged about how they couldn't hurt me, about how I was above crying over a breakup. Sitting here now, every coherent thought in my mind screamed that I was naive. I just hadn't met the right boy to care about enough.

Yet, here I was, distraught that a boy was getting a girlfriend who wasn't me, actually mad at myself for believing I could ever go out with him in the first place. It was disgusting. I felt disgusting.

When Luke failed to show up for dinner, Liz ordered us some pizza and helped me search through the house to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything. After that, we ate on the staircase, exchanging few words about our day.

"If my son hurt you, I will kill him," she joked, her Australian accent thick enough to suffocate me.

I snorted. "He didn't. Things just didn't work out the way we thought they would, I guess."

Liz nodded and left it at that, pulling the pepperoni off to eat it separately. I repeatedly lifted my phone to check the time in thirty second intervals, anxiously awaiting an Uber we had called maybe four minutes earlier. My flight left in four hours and Luke was still nowhere to be seen.

I knew it would be easiest for both of us if he didn't show up before I went back home. Perhaps he had the same thought; perhaps that was his plan. Neither of us were properly prepared for goodbyes. There was too much left to say. At this point, the healthiest thing we could do is saying nothing at all.

I finished my pizza and dragged my suitcase down the stairs, careful not to bang anything as I went. My eyes darted to the yellow Post-it note in the trash bin a few strides away. It lay there, the only source of color in an otherwise empty can. After checking no one was around, I delicately sauntered to look at it, shakily dipping two fingers down to retrieve it. I slipped it into the smallest pocket of my luggage and returned to my spot on the couch, where I'd spent the night.

After about twenty minutes of waiting following hours of anticipation, my Uber pulled into the driveway, along with the only person I didn't want to see at this exact moment. Luke hopped out of his car and rushed to greet me, placing a quick kiss on my cheek before grabbing my bags from the open doorway. The driver nodded once before wordlessly getting into the front seat.

"I'm sorry, Ten, I didn't mean to be gone all day. I just couldn't leave in the middle of songwriting, you know?" he panted.

His unwashed hair clearly hadn't been styled, lazily falling to one side. Basketball shorts exposed his painfully pale thighs and a black hoodie was draped over his broad torso. Even in this half-assed state, he still looked like a supermodel. I blinked a few times, worried I might get emotional.

"I think we should just say goodbye to each other," I said quietly, nervously running a few fingers through my knotted hair.

Luke shook his head. "What? I was gonna go with you to the airport, silly."

I pursed my lips to one side, praying that he'd notice I was too exhausted to object the idea. He apparently did, seeing as he swallowed hard and rubbed his fists into his eyes.

"Dammit, this was all supposed to work out a lot differently," Luke said. "I'm going to fix this one day, Teni. I swear. I won't forget about you. You're too important to me."

I squinted as the sunset beamed down on us. "I really need to get going."

"I'm going to come back for you. I'm going to make this right. I don't want the only girl I've ever loved to walk away from me like this."

We stared at each other, both of us evidently unsure of how to respond to such a bold statement. His mouth opened and closed, obviously searching for words to say but not finding any.

"Goodbye Luke," I said, hugging his large figure before climbing into the backseat and starting my long journey back home.

* * *

@luke_is_a_penguin tweeted: it isn't over, i promise

* * *

im back bitches, tanning in december and sporting THREE new ant bites from the asshole ants on my patio

i'm probably gonna update again in a few minutes but if not, tell me what you think is gonna happen!! i think luke is calum in disguise and teni is luke in disguise surprise it's been a cake story this whole time

anyway have a good day/night/holidays!!! sending much love