Embrace the Suck (Bad, #1)

Chapter Eleven

Saint was the first thing in my mind when I woke up. Half of me hoped that he didn't leave and ended up falling asleep last night, but there's no sign of him anywhere. Ang tanging palatandaan lang na nandito siya kagabi ay ang naiwan niyang basang uniform. I wonder what time he left?

I started the day with my usual morning routine except from taking a bath. Today's schedule includes morning run with Shadow, so, I skipped taking a shower and changed into my running clothes.

After feeding Shadow and after filling myself with coffee, I secured Shadow with his leash and went out of the house to start with my morning run.

He never left my mind. Not even once. My mind usually clears whenever I'm running but it didn't work this time. I was too consumed by the thought of him, by the fresh memory from last night.

He stayed when he could have left. He didn't stay just because it was raining too hard, no, a big part of me knows that he stayed for me. Because of my fear of thunder. Or maybe I'm just wishing that it's the reason, that's why my heart and mind are telling me that it's true.

Napahinto ako sa pagtakbo nang dahil sa mga iniisip. Pati si Shadow ay huminto rin. Kinagat ko ang labi ko at tumingala. Ipinikit ko ang mga mata at tinakpan iyon ng braso. I was thinking about him too much... too often. And it's wrong. I should stop.

With that in mind, I fixed my stance and stood up straight. I took a deep breath, slowly releasing it─releasing him from my mind. When I finally, or hoped, that I finally got him out of my head, I went back to running.

Pinilit ko siyang huwag isipin buong araw. Pakiramdam ko ay nagtagumpay naman ako dahil sa pag-aabala sa sarili sa ibang bagay. At hindi rin naman naging mahirap iyon dahil hindi ko siya nakita o ang kahit na anino niya sa campus. It's like last night was just a product of my wild dreams and vivid imagination.

My days passed and dragged as I pretended that he never crossed my mind. It was exhausting. Acting like I'm not thinking about him... it was a hopeless battle. Keeping him out of my head is futile.

A loud and deep sigh escaped me and caught Nina's attention. I mentally cringed for not being careful. Now, I waited for the interrogation to come.

"Ang lalim 'non. May problema ka ba?" tanong ni Ninz sa akin.

I didn't answer immediately and pursed my lips. The thought of saying a white lie crossed my mind. Ngunit alam ko naman na wala akong takas kay Nina. Wala akong takas sa kanila. They know me too well.

"Si Saint yan 'no?" she concluded, even raising a brow to push her point.

See?

"Oli told me about that night. Nakakatampo dahil hindi mo man lang sinabi sa akin." Nina's eyes reflected pain. Now, I feel guilty.

"It's because I know he's your least favorite topic. You don't like Saint," paliwanag ko.

"Kahit na. I'm your best friend, too. I wanna know," she replied. A frown curved on her face. "And it's not that I don't like Saint... I just don't like him for you."

"Bakit naman?" nagtatakang tanong ko.

"Because I've heard that he's a fuck boy who is allergic to serious relationships? And... Basta, something about him is not right." Her nose twitched, like it always does when she's thinking hard over something.

Hindi ako nagsalita. Hindi ko rin naman alam ang isasagot ko. Napakagat si Nina sa labi niya at ibinalik ang tingin sa akin. Wala na ang simangot sa mukha niya ngunit bakas pa rin ang pag-aalala roon.

"But... I won't hinder you from liking him. That's your decision. I'll support you, regardless." She warmly smiled at me.

Mas lalo tuloy akong na-guilty.