Buzzed Hearts

57: disneyland (part ii)

GROSSLY MISCALCULATED, it turns out that they have until midnight. Roma pointed out that it was a Sunday and that meant an extra hour.

    "These tickets are wasted," Jeremy says.

    "Then give it the fuck back," Elle retorts. "You're lucky my mom's chill with all this."

    "We'll pay you back," Camila says.

    Laurent raises his eyebrows at that, a look that only Jeremy catches—who then winks at him.

    "Money doesn't grow on trees," Jeremy sings.

    "Yeah they grow from my ass so can we just shut up."

    Throwing her smoothie container away, Camila gives a satisfied sigh and waits until everything settles again so she can choose the next ride. They go in turns, Elle first, as she provided the tickets, Roma next, Camila, Laurent, then Jeremy. Coincidentally, Elle pointed out that this was also the order from best to worst, which prompted another explosive quarrel between them.

    Having looped over the order three times already, it's Camila's turn but before she can pick, Jeremy butts in. "The park's going to close soon so we better hop on the ferris wheel. Sorry, Cam, but you might as well pick that anyways. I know it's your favorite."

    "Get ready for Mickey's Fun Wheel." Elle grins suggestively.

    "I want my own carriage."

    "So you can jerk off to the view, Jer? Hm?"

    "One day, I'm going to send a tape of you talking to me like that to the admissions guy in Princeton and they're going to rescind your acceptance."

    "Do it. I triple dog dare you."

    "Well, shit. Now you gotta," Laurent says. "Naturally, Mila and I are going to be in one. Because god knows what Roma and Elle want to do."

    "We're on a break," Roma says. Elle nods her head.

    "Sure you are." Jeremy rolls his eyes.

    There's hardly a line as they walk up to the wheel and Camila doesn't miss the quick smile Roma and Elle exchange. Jeremy hops on first and takes out his earphones from his pocket and plugs them in. He's always had this loner streak in him at times and he once confessed to Camila that social activities stressed him out after a while.

    "You first," Laurent says and motions for her to step on.

    Camila gives a wave to her remaining two friends and climbs on.

    The weight shifts beneath her feet as Laurent boards and he takes his respective seat across from her. They stare at the lights below as they climb in altitude.

    "Are you okay?" she asks.

    "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

    "You seem quiet."

    Laurent coughs and keeps his attention to the view. The streetlights below become distant pinpricks, needles poking light through a dark canvas.

    "Are you scared of heights?" she asks. "Oh my gosh, Laurent is scared of heights."

    "Shut up, Mila. You don't get to say this to Elle or Jeremy." His brows furrow. "And I'm really not. I just...I'd rather be on ground."

    "It's okay. You can close your eyes. I won't swing too hard."

    Slumping in his seat, he groans and screws his eyes shut. Then whispers, "I remember going on the Eiffel tower when I was six and you know how they have this giant line at the lobby? I needed to piss so bad and when we finally got on the elevator, I just...I let go because I've never been that high my entire life."

    Utterly shocked into silence, Camila's mouth parts. "You..."

    "Shut up. I've lived in France my whole life until then and they don't have skyscrapers or any tall buildings so I kinda...I just froze up."

    "Did you at least get your crêpe?"

    "In the end." He smiles. "So what's your biggest fear?"

    "Hey, that's not fair. Heights isn't your biggest fear."

    "Tell me, Mila."

    She gives a deep sigh. He deserves something after that confession. "I'm scared of not succeeding."

    The silence and breath he gives her prompts her to add on.

    "My parents didn't use to support my piano playing. I mean, they did. Just not as a career. So if I don't make it..."

    "You'll feel like you disappointed them."   

    "Yeah."

    "Can I tell you my fear?"

    "Go ahead."

    "I'm scared I won't be a good father."

    "Wow."

    "Yeah." He doesn't say anything more and Camila doesn't press him on. Instead, she crosses the space between them to sit by his side, offering her shoulder to him as a gesture of comfort. Laurent accepts it for a second and all she can smell is the heady scent of his deodorant—or whatever he uses.

    "No. No, go back to your own side. You're tilting the whole carriage."

    Camila makes it her purpose to take heavy steps back, rattling their little room. Laurent remains rigid until the ride is over.