Falling for You

Chapter 8

Julia's POV:

  It had been 2 weeks since I'd last kissed Avery. I thought we'd still be friends but the moment I came back to class was just awkward. I broke up with Cambrie. We still hang out though. I was completely honest with her. She was my girlfriend and I trusted her enough to tell her about everything including Avery drama. I feel really bad about it but she took it better than I thought she would. Lately I've been out of it. I've kind of gotten my grades up. Math is my favorite subject now and I hate history. That's nothing new though I've always hated it. Violet and Evan are getting pretty serious. Cam has basically been filling in for Violet which is totally fine. I understand how relationships are and it's not like Violet is shutting me out.

  I walked into English and took my seat. I got out my journal and started the warm up assignment. I looked at the board totally confused. The warm-up was different today. It was longer than usual.

Write about your feelings at this moment right now. Write how you're doing and what you need to change how you feel or what you need to do to keep feeling that way. Write what you struggle with and what you're strong with. Write what your goals are in life. Write anything as long as it has to do with you.

"Don't be too scared everyone. Today's warm-up is going to help us with what we're doing in class for this unit. I want to to write as much as you can. The words in bold are to help you with what to write. Remember no one but me reads your journals so please be honest when you're writing. It will help you better understand and get through what we're doing," Avery said as she sat down in the rolling chair behind her desk.

Riley a friend of mine called out, "What is this unit about?"

A small smile appeared on Avery's face, "I'll explain everything after you do the warm-up. I'll give you guys about 20-25 minutes to write today."

  Usually we write in our journals for about 10 minutes. A basic warm-up for this class is a question written up on the board that needs to be answered with at least 4 sentences. I guess that's not too much work. I opened my journal and wrote the date at the top. Then I asked myself how do I feel. Not good. I began writing. I started off writing but I did a lot of sugar coating which led to a lot of erasing. Why was I so scared to write what I really felt? Like seriously what the fuck? I took a deep breath and looked at the clock. I only had 15 minutes left. I need to stop hiding from things and just write the truth. That's just what I did.

11/3/16

  I feel okay. Things are different from before. I feel pretty heart broken. I'm such a bad person. I cheated on my girlfriend with someone else that I still really like. I want to become better though. I want to go to college and do something that involves math. I've considered being a math teacher. I guess what I have to do to change how I feel right now is to focus on myself. I wouldn't say I'm in love with this person but she definitely makes me feel something special. I need to move on because we can't be together, and it's not helping me. My ex-girlfriend is still a great friend of mine but I still feel bad. I think that's what I struggle with. Caring too much, yet not caring at all.

  I turned in my journal and went back to my seat. It's pretty obvious I wrote about her but all I did was be honest like she wanted me to be. Not that anyone else would know. Avery got up and went to the front of the classroom to begin teaching.

"Okay everyone listen up. We're doing a new unit where we focus on you and your goals. There will be an essay and it's going to be a big grade," she spoke.