Hey, Mister In Denial (BxB)

Chapter 19: Halloween Party

Chapter 19
Halloween Party

Dale and I have parted ways. About his question, I have said to him that I would think about it. I have been through hell and back, and I deserve a break from the drama and shits. He said he understood, but he had this downcast look etched across his face that made me feel guilty. He said he was sorry, that he wanted to be together with me, that he wanted me to forgive him for what he had done to me, that he was so sorry about everything that he had done, yet I couldn't look at him in the eyes. Couldn't give what he wanted, what he was asking. Because deep down I knew – know – that the wound was – still is – fresh. We haven't seen much lately, and we only felt each other's presence when we're around school.

There are times that I'd look in his way, but then he would look away, as if he's not noticing me, and sometimes I catch him staring, watching me from afar; I admit, it makes my heart beat faster, and the fact that he's watching me, everything that I'm doing, I can't help but smile. I think it's sweet, but a part of me says that I shouldn't like this. I have basically declined his offer to be together with him. I know that he needs a lot of help that he can get about identifying who he really is. I guess what just scares me most is, what if he really means that he's gay and into men, would he still be attracted to me? Will he continue liking me? Will he start dating others just to experiment more? The thought of that scares me. I don't want to be used. I don't want to be used because it hurts. It really hurts.

If he's just experimenting, wanting to know his real sexuality, then I'm not the right person he can ask. I like him so much, and I don't want to be turned off of him just because he wants to use me for his own benefit.

Looking at the pair of simple white button-up shirt, with smudges of blood everywhere, in my hands, I decide whether it's worth going to the Halloween party. Dale will be there, and I'm sure that if I see him, I'll do something crazy and I'd be the laughing stock of the attendees. I eye the matching pants – jeans, torn and ripped apart, and it reveals a lot of skin, that I will wear and sigh out loud. I need to get this over with. So what if I see him there? If I make a fool of myself, then so be it.

"Fuck this," I curse under my breath, standing up and deciding that I will attend the Halloween party. I know that Gloss, Derek, Dustin, Kaila and the others want me to be there, and by doing this I will make them happy. With that thought in mind, I strip my clothes off of me and step into the shower, hoping that the warm water that will cascade down me will clear my head.

The party is in full swing. People are with their best Halloween costumes, milling around, red cups in hands as they talk happily, while the others are dancing, with their partners and friends. My eyes quickly scan the area. I'm still outside, and just by looking from afar, watching the scene unfold in front of me, I immediately know that this party is not just a simple Halloween party. And no, it's not a Halloween party that the school conducts; it's a party set up by a junior named Hadley, who is part of the basketball team.

Lasers cut through the house, through the window, and it hovers me and I frown. There are people laying on the ground, happily staring at the dark sky with full of stars, scattered across the dark violet hue. I walk slowly, my eyes squinting, trying to catch a glimpse of my friends. Through the open doorway, I can see that the living room is crowded with people dancing, pressed together, as they jump to the beat of the music, which is blaring loudly.

Hadley's parents are rich, and that explains why he has no neighbors around. His parents have bought lots, but he doesn't have any idea what his parents are going to do with it. His house is a three-story modern house. On top of the house is a rooftop, with people casually hanging around and I catch a glimpse of Kaila. With her Poison Ivy from Batman costume, I know instantly that it's her.