Epilogue

Epilogue 3.03

---Jewel---

     I chew nervously on a twig, the only familiar object in an unknown world. A twig I plucked off of a bush a few miles back, being careful not to disturb its translucent berries filled with neon-coloured acid. It's a good thing the demon was the first to try and eat one.

     The pallid sky glares down at me with a look of distaste, and I can't rightly blame it. Whatever this place is, with it's fog that you can bunch up together into balls as if it were snow and its trees made of bone with branches that look like deer antlers, it's as hollow and corrupted as I am.

     The bone trees all howl in unison as the wind scratches up against them. Still chewing on the branch, I sit down in the shade of one of the trees—on this planet, shade means warmth.

     Maybe it's not the smartest idea to be out here on my own. But where else can I go to think? Thirteen of us set out to find paradise: six from Em's group, three from Wates' group, Jun, me, and the demon. Oh, and Edgar—a fire mage we picked up on the last world we visited. I shudder, remembering those bloodthirsty koalas that almost ate us all alive.

     Sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it. I guess in my case it wasn't so much about finding this Ganeden place as it was about getting as far away from that awful demon planet as inhumanly possible.

     A tear dribbles down my cheek, and I clutch my cross, the edges cutting into my skin. In some ways, I envy the rest of them. I envy how they can find happiness in the midst of all this horror. Ace and Liluye. Edgar and Mya. Em and Comma—that last one's not official, but who are they kidding?

     I can hear Jun approaching from a mile away. Unlike the others, the only thing bonding us is our pain. Before Valynar, there were seven of us. Now we're down to two.

     "How are you holding up?" Jun asks. I scooch over so that he can occupy a slice of the shade next to me. His persistent smile annoys me. No, that's an understatement. It disturbs me, to my very core.

     "How can you smile after all that's happened? Pierre, Tino, Shana, Derek, Sophie... they're all dead. And nothing can fix that."

     Jun's smile doesn't let up—not even for a moment. "That's exactly the thing," he says, leaning back. "Nothing can fix that."

     "We can't just forget about them. We owe them more than that." Pierre's the reason I'm still here. His mistake. It would've been better for everyone involved if I'd just died back during the apocalypse.

     Jun shakes his head. "We owe it to them to live." He grabs my trembling hand and pries it off of the cross. My fingers burn. Good. The Master of Light is making it clear that I'm no longer in his favour. Message received.

     I'd have thrown myself to the glowdarks, if only it were that simple. I tried, back on the planet before this one. When my life is threatened, She of the Many Shadows starts to take over. And I can't let that happen—not again. I have to do everything in my power to keep her under control.

     "Losing people... that's just part of everyday life now," Jun says, staring ahead at the bone trees and the fog that circles their rotting trunks. "When the world ended, how many of us do you think actually made it? How many of us do you think were lucky enough to make it this far?"

     Lucky? That's a sick joke. "Luck has nothing to do with it," I mutter, drawing my knees in. "It's a curse."