The Perfect Mate

Chapter Sixteen

"Sorenson, are you ready? The party begins in a few minutes and Silas wants to have a grand entrance with the four of us." Kota asks as he walk into my room.

Silas thought it was a good idea to meet the pack and at the same time hold a barbecue, so now, time to go for our 'big entrance' I am started to feel nervous.

"I don't know, I don't think I'm going to be able to go out there. I mean! Look at me! No one is going to take me seriously. Someone's already called me a troll, what's next? Smurf, elf? I don't even know. I want everyone to like me, but how can they when I look like I'm ten." I cry out as I pinch my cheeks between my fingers and move my face around as I talk. Kota only stares at me with wide eyes before backing out of the room slowly.

I continue to mumble to myself as I stare in the mirror. I don't even know what Silas sees in me. I'm short, skinny, and my skin is an odd shade of off white. My stomach is flat, except for when I sit down -because I mean everyone has fat rolls when you sit down, don't even lie about it - and my hands are tiny! Aren't men suppose to have big strong hands? And I'm suppose to give birth? How is that even possible, I never thought I would end up having kids. I have Gabriel and Zain to look after, Kota wad always considered a brother to me, but my baby brothers are like my children. After taking care of them I can understand why people don't want to have children, they're nightmares. Some days I wouldn't even be able to think for myself because they had me so high strung about everything. I don't know if I'll be able to have kids anytime soon. I mean, I'm not even twenty yet, does Silas expect me to have kids so soon?

"Sorenson? Are you okay?" Silas asks as he slides into the room. I turn to him quickly and the words spill out of my mouth before I can stop them.

"I don't want kids, right now at least. I mean, Gabriel and Zain are still really young, and they rely on me. Plus, I'm not even twenty, I want to be able to live my life like I am for a little while longer. I hope you aren't mad because most mates want to try and have kids as soon as they can, because, you know they want to prove they belong to eachother, but we can do that other ways, I'm just not ready to go there yet."

Silas only stares and me with mild amusement. My chest heaves up and down as I stare at him wide eyed, why isn't he mad? Shouldn't he be mad that I don't want to have kids yet, I mean, alphas are really protective and territorial, wouldn't he want to prove that I am his, and do that by making me round with his pups?

"Sorenson, I'm not ready to have a pup yet either. Maybe in a few years when we get settled in and Zain and Gabriel are older. I wouldn't pressure you to do anything you aren't ready for. And for showing ways that we belong to eachother, that's what marking is for, and I plan on marking you, hopefully soon, but I plan on doing it. So you don't need to worry about anything, okay. Your my mate, the only one that is ever going to make my heart flip and flop like it does. The only one who will ever make a blush rise to my cheek, and the only one that will ever make my chest want to explode because of the amount of feelings I have for you. I promise that your it for me, Sorenson. Now you just have to convince yourself of that." I stare at Silas in shock. I never knew he felt that strongly about our relationship already. I knew that he would fight for us, yes, but I didn't know he was already basically in love with me. I knew that one day we would love eachother unconditionally, and our pups too, but I didn't think it would be for a long time. I didn't think that I would have the chance for love for a long time.

"You're slowly convincing me everyday." I whisper softly to Silas as I look at him through my eyelashes. He smiles brightly at me before holding out his hand.

"Come on, there is a party waiting for us."