Bittersweet

30| Fruitcake

If this Saturday were like any other Saturday, then I wouldn't be waking up with this overwhelming sense of dread. Like at any moment the sky would fall down on me. Normally on this day the bakery would be closed, so Gage and I would go to unload the shipment. Maybe afterwards we would grab some groceries and do laundry, but that wasn't going to happen today. The only thing that hadn't changed was the fact that I had woken up in his warm embrace. But even that felt slightly off. Not because of anything he did wrong, but because today was today.

For a second I pretended that I wasn't about to face my worst nightmare tonight and that Gage and I could spend the rest of the day wrapped up in each other, but that fantasy quickly vanished when Armita called to inform that she needed to discuss something with me before I left later on. Given the severity of today, I almost debated on skipping her offer, but Armita was the type of person you don't say no to. Not to mention I owed her a great deal after everything she's been doing for us, so one conversation wouldn't hurt. As much as I wanted to stay in bed, I knew that wasn't possible today.

Today was different.

Gage remained asleep throughout the entire conversation which didn't surprise me after last night's multiple events. They, too, were different from the other times we made love, but in a bittersweet sort of way. Every touch had a new meaning and every heartbeat was a little faster, filled with both angst and adoration. After exploring each other's bodies until dawn, not knowing what the day would bring, I had no doubt that he would be as drained as much as I was. Still, I got up and dressed, my eyes trained on Gage's bare body wrapped up in the ivory sheets the entire time. It was a beautiful sight, really. Ink on white. And I tried not to think about the fact that this could be the last time I see him like this if I was not careful today, but of course I did. I worried, and then I worried some more to the point where I was sure my negative thoughts would somehow wake Gage up. But he never stirred.

In a way, it saddened me because I wanted to spend every spare moment that I could with him, but at the same time, I knew he needed his rest. So, with a sigh, I pressed a soft kiss to his forehead before slipping out the room silently. I had no doubt that by the time I came back he would still be sound asleep as he usually was after a long, vigorous night.

As promised, Armita was waiting by the elevators. I noticed that she traded out her business suit for casual jeans and a shirt that flattered her figure even more. Her long, dark hair was pulled up on top of her head to show off her fatigue-free face. No puffy eyes or anything like I was sporting. I must get her secret one day.

"Good morning, Katy," she greeted with a kind smile. "Sleep well?"

I thought back to last night which involved little sleep but still replied, "I did, thank you. And yourself?"

She, too, didn't reply right away and instead looked down at her hands. "Very well. The beds are exceptional here."

"They are definitely cozy."