✓ ♕Poison♕ [Joker x Reader]

Chapter 20: Christmas Gift (part one)

Y/N's POV

We were on the large couch in front of the television. J changed into his arkham sweatpants, and was sitting upright, with his arm resting on the top of the couch, while I laid down resting my head on his lap. He played with my hair as we watched the news.

Breaking news. The clown prince of crime also known as the Joker escaped Arkham Asylum once again, and he didn't act alone. A woman joined him in escaping the asylum, and the unknown woman was believed to be the girlfriend of the Joker, a eyewitness told us.

Eyewitness: Yes, I saw this lady named "Kira" or something. She rescued him from there. I hid in the corner as I heard them come in, and she pointed a gun at me saying that she wasn't gonna kill me. She said something like "I want you to spread my name throughout the city"... I really don't recall. I'm just in total shock.

I chuckled at the eyewitnesses statement.

"Damn right." I said, smiling. I sat up and grabbed my vodka off of the table. Then it hit me. They said 'girlfriend'. Am I considered that? I'm not even sure if I am his girlfriend. He never asked me out or anything... I mean, I guess we're a thing. In my mind we are, but I just don't know. I wish he would ask me out proper-...

"So, what's up with that 'Kira' shit? Did my doll give herself a new nickname?" He grinned, as I snapped out of my thoughts, and took a sip of my drink.

"I've decided that I'm a full time criminal... so I needed a name." I set my vodka back onto the table, and shifted my body towards J.

"Doll, in order for you to be a 'criminal', you'll have to commit a crime."

"I did commit a crime. Do you not remember when you had me kill that guy who didn't give you the new weapons? And I just killed all those guards at the asylum, in my mission to save you. You're welcome by the way."

"Haha, that's minor pumpkin. If you want to be known throughout the city, you have to do something BIG." J waved his hands in the air when he said 'big'. I rolled my eyes, and sighed. "And I can help you reach that pinnacle..." He leaned over to me. "Let's rob a bank." J whispered in my ear. It sent shivers down my spine. I turned my head and locked eyes with him.

"Talk about minor... that's easy." I said, giving a seductive smile. Our faces became millimeters apart, and our lips were barely touching. "Let's do it Mr.J." We kissed, and I bit his lower lip, pulling it, then letting go. He stood up, and grabbed my hand, pulling me up from the comfy couch. I threw his long purple coat at him, and got my gun. He put on his coat, and followed behind me, also grabbing his machine gun and two large duffle bags. We got outside and shared another kiss. He got in his lambo, and I mounted my motorcycle. Gotham National Bank doesn't know what's coming.

Time Skip

So many people, but that's good. More heads to blow.

We walked in the bank confidently with a duffle bag on both of our shoulders, and rose our guns to the ceiling. Many bullets pierced the ceiling as people screamed in terror. Our laughs started to fill the money castle. Bank workers and pedestrians tried to run, but we shot them so they can stay and enjoy the show.

"ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS! WE CAME FOR ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY!" I walked over to a man cowering on the floor. "but if THIS MAN..." I said, pointing to the cowering man. "Can answer a VERY simple question... you'll all get to live, and we'll leave immediately." I crouched down and cocked my head to the side.

"Who is the best man in Gotham, Hmm...?" I smiled at the man, and waited for a answer.

"B-Batman..." He said, glaring into my eyes.

"Nice try but...WRONG!" I put my gun between his eyes and implanted a bullet in his skull. People screamed but they stopped when they heard J's laughter. I walked over to J and put my elbow on his shoulder.

"Isn't she somethin'? My doll knows how to... steal the show." J laughed, then slapped my ass, while giving me a kiss. He broke the kiss and darted a angry look at a woman.

"What are you... LOOKIN' AT?!" He aimed his gun and shot the woman in the heart. I laughed loudly.

"Ohhhh, what a heartbreaker!" I clapped my hands, and we started to walk towards the large safe. Shooting the lock off took many tries, but we made it to the money. We worked frantically and packed both duffle bags. Slinging the bags over our shoulders again, we started to run out of the bank in hopes that batsy doesn't come and ruin our theft.

Joker's POV

We ran towards the entrance, then I noticed a box sticking out the pocket of the man that Y/N or should I say 'Kira' killed. I stopped and picked up the box, opening it. I saw that there was a beautiful diamond ring inside, but I noticed it wasn't a wedding ring. It was a promise ring. I closed the box and shoved it in my pocket. I ran after Y/N, who was already out the door.

"Haha, I beat you." She stuck her tongue out, and giggled. She handed me her duffle bag, and I threw the bags in my car. "That was fun." She gave me a hug. "But am I real criminal now?" She asked, letting me go.

"Yes pumpkin... and consider all this money as one of your Christmas gifts." I kissed her forehead, and helped her get on her motorcycle.

"Oooo, why thank you Mr. J." She smiled, then I got into my car. I pulled the box back out and looked at it one more time.

"Tomorrow, I will make a promise that I'll never leave you and that as long as you're with me you'll be safe from harm." I said to myself, thinking about her. I placed my hand on the steering wheel and started the car. I sighed out loud.

She makes me sane.

A/N: Hey guys! Part two should be up by tomorrow so stay tuned. And don't forget to vote, and comment :)

Until next chapter, bye puddin's! :)