PURE AND TAINTED ( wanda maximoff )

forty-four → thanks, man, for that sort of deep thing

PURE AND TAINTED
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
( thanks, man, for that sort of deep thing )

SHE COULD HEAR STEVE from down the hall before he even arrived at her room or knocked on her door, but she didn't bother to get up from the bed to let him in. She released a heavy sigh, looking up from her phone, before tossing it to the side. Aline gave him a weak smile. "Hey," she said quietly, then nodding her head to signal it was okay to come in. She repositioned herself so that she was sitting up now, leaning back on her palms as Steve stepped into her room.

"How you doing?" Steve shut the door behind him, taking quiet steps towards her. He sat on the edge of the bed beside her, blue eyes watching as she pursed her lips at the question. Like the others, he knew how difficult this past month had been on her and Wanda. "You doing okay?"

"I'm trying to be." Aline avoided his gaze, concentrating on getting something out from under her nail. "It's been... difficult, more on Wanda's part than mine." Ever since their mission in Lagos, they had been attacked with all sorts of backlash, especially from the media. Countless news stations and tabloids had decided to target Wanda, blaming her for not only being able to hold back an explosion but also causing the death of several people. Aline had nearly broken the living room TV when Sam had turned it on, the news instantly blasting through and practically harassing Wanda. Instead, she had run into the gym and punched a wall (she had to call Tony to apologize). It had completely broken her heart to hear all sorts of things about Wanda, but it hurt even more knowing that she couldn't do a thing to stop it. It wasn't like she could destroy the media! Aline was an Avenger, a public figure, and if she did anything to retaliate, they'd drag her name through the mud.

"How's Wanda?" Steve asked.

Aline let out a sigh again, flopping back on the bed. One of her legs dangled off the bed. "Not good. She's still hurting badly; it doesn't help that news stations are being total assholes and entirely blaming her for what happened and not the stupid bitch who pushed the button and 一" She growled angrily then flinched when she heard something shatter behind her. Both of them looked back, seeing the lamp that used to reside on her bedside table was now in shatters. "Oops," she said with a shrug. "Her nightmares weren't as bad as they were now; at first it was just about her brother..." Aline looked up at Steve. "God, I'm supposed to be there for her, Steve! I'm supposed to be at her side and protect her, but I can't. I can't protect her back then, and I can't protect her now 一"

"Wait." Steve gently interrupted her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "What are you talking about, back then?" He saw the way Aline anxiously chewed on her lip, once again picking at her nails. In the several years he's known the tribrid, he's never seen her this anxious before. Not once. "Ali, what's the matter?"

"Pietro." Saying the name aloud sent shivers down her spine, and she inhaled sharply. Aline could feel her nails elongated, nearly piercing her pale palms. "It's my fault that he's 一"

"You know that wasn't your fault," Steve said forcefully, fully turning her so she was looking him in the eye. "It was Ultron's."

Aline shook her head, brown hair falling from behind her ears. "Don't you think I tell myself?" Her voice was just above a whisper, and Steve noticed the tears brimming in her eyes. "I know it was Ultron's fault, but we both know that I could've been the one to take all those bullets. I would have been perfectly fine, I would have survived and Pietro would still be here. But instead I was stupid, and I didn't even try to stop him and 一" She cut herself off, moving to angrily fist her hair. "I feel like I'm losing her..."

"Kid, Wanda loves you," Steve said. "How can you even think that?"

She paused for a second, carefully choosing her words. "Have you ever loved someone, Steve? And I mean, really loved someone. So much so that your heart feels like it's going to burst from excitement because you know that person loves you back just as unconditionally?" Aline clearly knew the answer to this. She had managed to wrangle the information out of Steve a while ago, finding out about his lost love Peggy. From the way he spoke about her, it was evident that Steve and Peggy loved each other before they were tragically ripped apart like that. He had lost her and lost his best friend, his brother, a man that Aline had only about a few times. "I know Wanda loves me and trust me, I love her too. Like, a crap-ton. But there are times where... where I feel like I can't protect her. I couldn't protect her from Ultron or those assholes on the news, I can't protect her from anything." Aline suddenly pushed herself off the bed, finding the sudden need to stand and pace. "Steve, I am a thousand years old, an immortal tribrid with the unbelievable power, and I couldn't protect her from a stupid tin can with a God complex. I can't protect her from these stupid news anchors who think they know everything because they work on TV. I don't deserve her, not after this. She deserves someone who she knows can protect her."

Once she stopped to take a breath, Steve stood up, clasping his hands on her shoulders. "Aline," he said, "I've known you for four years now and I've seen you go through stuff that could kill someone, literally. You've gone through hell and back to protect her. You know deserve her and she deserves you." He dropped his hands back to his sides.

Aline gave a humorless laugh, shaking her head. "Do I? Steve, don't you think that in that time I've spilt some blood? That I've done what murderers have done and sometimes I laughed. Sometimes I loved it. I have murdered for a thousand years, loving it, and sometimes, I just did it for the hell of it. The rush it gave me... it made me feel like I was invincible. Who the hell would have paired her up with a monster like me?"

"Not all monsters do monstrous things," Steve said gently, lacing his fingers together with hers.

Steve had always been such a good friend to her, even when she didn't deserve it, and he often took on something akin to a fatherly or big brother role when it came to her. She gave him a small grin, squeezing his hand in hers. "Thanks, man," she said, "for that sort of deep thing." They both chuckled softly, then moved to sit back down on the bed. She leaned her head on his shoulder, eliciting another sigh.

"You look like you still have something on your mind."

Aline hesitated, biting her lip. "Rumlow," she said slowly, knowing that saying his name was simply enough for him to know.

"He mentioned someone," Steve said. "Rome."

"Yeah, my cousin." Aline flopped back on the bed once again. She knew that the rest of the team had known all about her troubled family 一 dead parents and brothers, older sister Maggie (who most definitely hated her guts, how was she supposed to know), and older runaway cousin Rome. None of them really pushed for information after hearing that. Aline pressed her hands against her face. "He saw her, Steve. He saw her, he talked to her, she was at HYDRA. And, and I don't know what the hell that's supposed to mean. Like, did she abandon me to help out HYDRA out or if she's jus with your friend or just 一 gaaaaaahhh!" She slapped her face. "What am I supposed to do, Steve? What if I see her again?" Just the idea that Rome was so close to the people she knew felt wrong. It'd been nearly fifty years since she last saw her cousin, and the way they parted terms had been so awful, so wrong. To know that she was possibly with Bucky, Steve's best friend from way-back-when, didn't feel right.

Steve moved to place his hands in his lap. "If you see her again... well, you'll know what to say. And then you can get the answers straight from her."

Aline mashed her lips together. If she saw Rome, she'd finally be able to get the reasons why she did what she did. If she'd been with HYDRA this whole time, it'd explain why Rome hadn't bothered to try and talk with her in years, but back then, Aline had assumed that she needed her time and space. So for the first few years, that's what she did, but eventually, when she tried, she was met with silence.

"I'm not sure," she said finally, deciding to sit up. "What if when we see each other, if just turns to shit?"

"Well, that's family. They argue and fight, but at the end of the day, you're family." Steve rubbed her shoulder. He stood up. "I'm going to check on Wanda. Want to come with?"

Aline shook her head, bowing her head. Despite their nice conversation, she had a feeling she wasn't the right person Wanda wanted to see now. "No, I'm good. Hey, just, um, you know 一"

"I know," Steve said. He started to walk towards the door and when he opened the door, he paused in the doorway. He looked back at the tribrid. "Hey. You know she loves you, right?"

Aline paused, surprised he asked. Nonetheless, she nodded her head.