Even though I'm on my own, I know I'm not alone..

Four

The teacher walked out and saw the state my arms were in. She got me up from the floor and she ran into the class room and I seen her pick up the telephone. I leaned against the wall taking deep breaths. What is she doing? my mum can't find out again.. fuck, I'm going to get into so much trouble!! She came back out the room with my bag, hoodie and jumper and sent me to go see my guidance teacher. I put on my hoodie and headed for the other building.

On the verge of tears I slowly knocked on the door, while chewing the sleave of my other arm. My guidance teacher came to the door with an extremely conserned look on her face as she welcomed me in and told me take a seat. I knew where this was going she'll ask about it and then she'll call my mum and I will get into shit when I get home.

"Alex show me your arms."

Here it goes.. I slowly pulled my hoodie off allowing my arms to be free and her to look at the wounds laying across them. The expression on her face was not not helping, not one bit. She stares for a bout a minute and tuts her tongue from the roof of her mouth while shaking her head.

" I don't see why someone would do that to them selves!"

Of course she doesn't she doesn't experience my torture!!

"Alex does your parents know?! This sort of thing is very serious you can't keep this to yourself!"

I sat in silence, as we both knew I hid it I didn't want to lie or tell about them not knowing. She shook her head yet again and wrote down some of my information in a jotter that she then put a side. The bell went and I got permission to exit.

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After school I dropped my bag and ran straight to my room and I blasted music full volume to hide my screams. I repeatedly punched my wall until it created a hole. I spent hours in my room crying and drawing. My brother came into my room and forced me to come down for tea as I had been refusing to eat for days. We eat while everyone was having conversation I had my earphones in trying to blur out the static noise I was hearing. I finished and ran straight to the bathroom.  It was time again the voices came and we're making me feel obese. I knelt in front of the toilet and shoved two fingers down my throat triggering gag reflex, making me throw up all the food I just ate. I went back up stairs as if nothing happened. I tried going to sleep as I didn't want to deal with anything else tonight...