In Case of Heartbreak

24 | apologize

C H A P T E R 2 4 | D E A N

I didn't know how I managed to get through my last exam with the memory of Katie walking out on me replaying constantly inside my mind. I was unfocused and torturing myself, though once I set my pen down and handed in my exam, I was able to breathe a small sigh of relief.

It wasn't long-lasting however, as the minute I stepped out of the building, the freedom of university propelling me forward, I was brought back to the reality that I had managed to make a mess of my future.

I had a family who supported me, graduation to look forward to, and a new job on the horizon, but I didn't have what I truly wanted, and that was Katie.

In the days that followed, I did all I could think of to reverse the damage I'd done, though having had the chance to get to know Katie, it wasn't unsurprising that my efforts went without reply. The calls went unanswered, the messages unread, and when I'd found her on campus studying with Stella, the two had quickly packed up and left without much more than a second glance.

She was avoiding me, and what hurt the most was knowing that I'd given her a reason to.

"Katie," I started as soon as I heard the familiar message of her voicemail end, "I know you probably haven't listened to any of these, and I don't blame you. I should've bucked up the courage to just tell you that I was leaving, but I was scared of your reaction." A dry laugh escaped my lips. "Funny how things ended up like this anyways." I sighed. "But I am sorry – really, I am."

My words trailed off as I ended the call, though as I slumped back against the couch cushions, the front door was thrown open with a bang.

Stella stormed in not even a moment later while my eyes, which had widened in surprise, watched her movements, hoping that she wouldn't see me. It was no use however, because as frustration overtook her features, it quickly dissolved into anger when her steps halted and she turned to glance at me. Shaking her head, I could clearly hear her mutter the word 'asshole' under her breath before she continued further into the apartment, heading for Holden's bedroom as she slammed the door behind her.

Holden, who'd entered the apartment closely behind Stella, sighed, raking his fingers stressfully through his mop of hair as he turned to look at me, a pointed look in his eyes. "You fucked up man, big time."

My chin dropped to my chest as I sighed with regret. "I know," I replied sadly, tightening my grip on my cell phone as I tapped it nervously against my leg, "Trust me."

He didn't say anything else, simply giving me a nod in acknowledgement before heading towards his room.

It seemed that with each passing day, as my attempts at communication went unanswered, the hope in my chest began to crumble. Slowly my calls began to dwindle, and it wasn't long before I was forced to accept the truth. If Katie wanted to see me, she'd do so when she was ready.

That didn't stop me from moping as graduation loomed closer, and when the day finally came, I felt just a bit displaced. The pictures that I'd imagined having of the two of us together – those would no longer happen, but that didn't stop my mom from cooing over me in my apartment before the ceremony, a plethora of boxes surrounding us as she smiled proudly at me.

I adorned my cap and gown with the rest of the graduates that afternoon, crossing the stage with a sense of accomplishment as I was handed my diploma. I could hear my family cheering in the crowd, and as I let my gaze trail over the sea of students filling up the gymnasium, my eyes locked with Katie's, a rush of joy running through me as I saw her hands coming together in applause.