Intent [Wattys 2017]

Chapter 88

(A/N: gif up top has nothing to do with the chapter obviously, just thought he looked too darn cute in his Christmas sweater to not use it.)

Wrapped in Red - Kelly Clarkson

Emma

I'm so bloody nervous.

Giving Christmas gifts should be fun not an activity that's got my heart racing like a jackhammer.

Well I guess this morning was fun but that was mostly for the twins. They spent ages opening their toys, all the attention was on them but now... well now it's just me and Harry sitting on my bed just about to exchange gifts.

I wish we could go back to this morning to be honest. Harry had gotten everyone cute christmas sweaters, my mum had given the two of us Christmas onesies, and the little ones gave everyone coupons for free hugs whenever we wanted.

In the past few years Christmas has been good but this year is by far the best.

The difference is seeing Harry with my family. I don't normally put a lot of weight on that sort of thing but this year is different. Just seeing him sitting cross legged on the floor helping Sarah and Lucas set up and immediately play with their toys was really a sight to see.

There he was dressed in his red and green onesie that tightened around every muscle perfectly, playing with Lucas and his lego set while also letting Sarah try out her new hair and makeup kit on him.

Honestly, at times you could argue that he was having more fun than the bloody kids. It was sweet to watch.

This mornings gifts were easy. I just went along with whatever mum had gotten but now that we've had our Christmas dinner and watched our annual viewing of Love Actually as the kids played, it's just Harry and I in my room about to exchange the more personal gifts we got for one another.

Woman up Emma, it's time.

I'm going to do it.

Yes, I know what I said before, wanting to make this holiday light and fluffy, but Harry and I have been amazing since our issues a few weeks ago and after speaking with my mum about him, I think I'm finally ready.

I have the facts.

My dad had an epileptic seizure that night made worse by the alcohol. Even now he can barely remember that night. After he got treatment and now he's living his life. That's what happened and it's completely unfair. For years I've been suffering the ramifications of that night and he was able to walk away being treated with a few years probation before forming a whole new family.

It's not fair and I can't carry it alone anymore.

That's why one of my presents for Harry is my journal. I've written down all that mum told me in addition to everything that's already put down on the train to London a few weeks ago.

Yeah it's not the most romantic gift but I'm hoping it will mean something to him.

Who am I kidding, of course it will.

This is all Harry's wanted for a long time. He'll love it and I'll be able to breathe a breath of fresh air knowing that I've finally ripped down all my walls to him.

Along with that I've gotten him a ring. It's a two level silver band with 'peace' on one side and 'love' on the other.

To make it a little more personal I got "Harry & Em" engraved on the inside. It's cheesy, I know, but I want Harry to know that I'm in this just as much as he is and I'm hoping this gesture will demonstrate that.