The Marauders: Year Five #Wattys2017

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Sirius woke up in the hospital wing. Remus Lupin was asleep in a chair beside the bed, his head resting on the side of it, his arm draped up, over Sirius's stomach and onto his chest, his fingers splayed over the newly healed skin... There were tear stains on his cheeks, still glistening in the sunlight that came in through the window. The ward was eerily silent aside from the sound of Sirius's own breathing and the soft whistling of air going through Remus Lupin's nose as he slept.

He went to rotate the gold band on his finger like he usually did and found the ring was gone. It took him a moment to remember throwing it at Remus. A lump rose up in his throat.

Sirius looked to his side and on the night stand he saw his wand and the gleam of the gold band. He reached for it, his fingers scrambling over the wood of the table top to pull it into his fist and his fingers closed 'round the heavy band and he brought it to his chest, laying his fist over his heart, alongside Remus Lupin's palm.

The movement woke Remus and he stirred, blinking a moment, the sun too bright. "Sirius?" he murmured and he lifted his head from the mattress, his palm falling away from Sirius's chest. "You're awake."

Sirius nodded.

"Thank Merlin." Remus stood up and leaned over, pressing his lips to Sirius's forehead. "Thank Merlin." He wrapped his arms around Sirius's shoulders.

Sirius stared up at him as Remus drew away.

"Are you alright?" Remus whispered thickly.

Sirius nodded again.

"I was so worried," Remus said, and he grabbed hold of Sirius's fist - the one holding onto the ring, his hands cupping around the closed fingers. "What happened? How did you end up cut like that?"

Please. Don't let me be right.

Sirius's eyes were dark - the darkest grey Remus had ever seen them. He stared up at Remus. "I did it," he whispered. "I did it to myeslf."

Remus closed his eyes. He'd so wanted to be wrong. He had so wanted it to be someone that he could go and defend Sirius against. But he didn't know what to do for this. He didn't know how to protect Sirius from himself. "Oh my Padfoot..." he whispered and he lifted his fist to his cheek and hung his head. Remus sighed. "You can't do that Sirius. You can't cut yourself open. You could've died." He squeezed Sirius's hand. "We were terrified, all of us.... Why did you do it?"

"It wouldn't come out," Sirius breathed.

"What wouldn't come out?"

"The dementor."

"What dementor?"

"The dementor in my chest."

Remus stared at Sirius for a long moment.

"It's there, it's in there... I can feel it..."

Remus said, "Sirius, you can't have dementors in your chest. They don't work that way."

"I do... it's there... it's squeezing my heart."

Remus stared at Sirius with wet eyes and shook his head, "No, Sirius, it isn't... There's just you in there, just you... and the darkness is a lie. You're light - you're a star, Sirius. You need to push the darkness out."

"I was trying to!"

"You don't need to cut yourself to get rid of the darkness."

"How else is it supposed to come out?" Sirius started crying. He opened his hand and he looked at the ring in it and he held it out to Remus, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I threw it at you. I'm sorry I yelled. I feel so terrible for doubting you. I know you did'nt have anything to do with that horrible plan James's had..."