70 Deadly Wattpad Sins (The Book Of Evil Advice!)

Sin #23: Being Sensible (What nonsense!)

It was midnight, outside the diner. He walked in. He ordered a hotdog. It arrived, and he ate the hotdog. It was good. ~Scene~

C'mon, you guys are better at writing than that! Probably, I hope? How about this:

He could barely see an inch in front of his own nose, trudging through the surrounding darkness. The waitress heard the bell chime as soon as the man opened the diner's door. She touched his shoulder gently, relieving him of his rain-soaked coat.

Ushering him to sit down, he'd no sooner ordered the tastefully-spiced hotdog when it was already laid out in front of him. The aromatic scent of cheese wafted through his nose, drawing him into its unhealthy goodness.

Ever worried that your scenes fall a little short? Maybe all it needs is a finer touch, along with four other doohickeys we like to call 'the five senses'. Anyone that has a corporeal form, I'm sure that they have been aware of this concept since they were born.

What about the existentially-challenged? I need those deets, too!

First, let me explain why we humans should be converting this into a technique. As sensory animals, every experience can be divided into five simple categories. Because of this rather-limiting affliction, over time we have created sub-categories to define them, ways to attach attributes.

We recognise some food groups as spicy, while others as sweet. Some surfaces can feel rough or smooth, depending on texture. Some people see a presidential debate, while others only see a giant douche and a turd sandwich. It can be completely relative, but necessary if you want to understand another person's viewpoint.

The problem that Wattpad has with sense, is that it rarely uses any — or when it does, it uses too much. Writers tend to either leave that part up to the reader's imagination, or scrutinise every single cow pat's scent within a 10-mile radius of the MC. Find some middle-ground, people!

This is all so complicated! Gosh, I sure hope we get a needlessly-long breakdown of the five senses that insults our intelligence!

Got you covered, bae.

Sight: Your eyes rake in this stuff. Best used to describe colours, very flexible as it holds the widest range of possibilities.
Examples: bright, dark, vibrant, glisten, reflect

Sound: The thing everyone else hears while you're trying to block out Drake. Most sounds are used to draw a character's attention towards a person or object, good for starting dialogue.
Examples: ring, rattle, knock, thud, slam

Touch: A sense that teenagers can never keep to themselves. Can explore textures, feel another's touch or identify physical pain.
Examples: soft, rough, ache, grip, clench

Taste: The crap that goes in your mouth. You can taste food, the air itself, even the bitterness of your own emotions.
Examples: Sweet, sour, bitter, spicy, flat

Scent: I'm not going to write a fart joke, I'm not going to write a fart joke, I'm not going to write a fart joke. Arguably the most powerful sense, the right phrasing of smells can place the reader in any scenario. Like a closed elevator, after a burrito lunch.
Examples: odour, rancid, tang, sweaty, eggy

Why should I plan all of this out? I already know what my story smells like!

That's great for you, but your audience doesn't — and while you might think that you know your own settings, you won't be able to convey them clearly without some, dare I say, common sense!

I cannot stress this enough, it pains me to see stories capping at 500 words a chapter. I know, some people like shorter lengths, but it feels limited and uninspired in most cases. Authors need to ask themselves more questions about their surroundings, to shake up their budding universes.

"What can my character overhear, in this bustling city? How does the local beer taste, what memories can be linked to these familiar senses?"

It only takes a handful of senses to double that word count, as evidenced at the start of this chapter. Not just that, but you'll find it to be much more engaging and relatable, since it applies directly to your primitive human brain. You can empathise with these characters, who view the world through the same lens as you.

As long as you're careful not to overdo it (not all five senses need to be used!),  this could be the most useful tool in your arsenal. A taste of victory, for all Wattpadders!

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Attention to detail is your best friend, when creating a whole new world. From the dankest of pits to the rosiest of castles, your readers needs to know exactly what they are experiencing. Put yourself in the MC's shoes, pretend for a moment that you are them. There may be senses that certain characters are more in-tune with than others, so choose carefully!

Also, if you are wondering why 'too much sensing' is a bad thing, take a cinema trip to your nearest 4DX screen. Sometimes, you just wanna read a book and not be bombarded with water balloons, high-pressure fans and spine-crushing seat thrusters.

Maybe you should stop reading in the cinema.

Ba-dum tssh.