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Chapter 3 - Denial

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CHAPTER 3 – Denial

** TORI's POV **

As I went up the plane, I stared at the sight of Las Ventanas one last time. All of our memories together flashed back in an instant. With that, I felt the warmth flowing down my cheeks.

He's gone. I said as I started to cry.

"I just love you too damn much, playboy."

That will never change.

I love you, always.


* * * * * *

The whole trip on the way to New York was quiet. I was still in denial about everything that happened. I still believed that it was just a joke. That Zach will never do such thing. But then again, I realized that I barely know him. We've been together for a few months... and half of it was a lie.

He was indeed a hardcore playboy. I've been played. He told me that he loves me and then what? He left me... all alone. I need answers. I need him. I want him back.

The moment I arrived at my apartment, I immediately went straight to my room. To sulk and weep. Well, that's what all broken-hearted persons do.

Sulk and weep.

At this point, I don't know how I will face everyone, especially Chloe. I have to tell her the truth because she deserves it. I just lied to my best friend, and I have to face the product of my pretentious act. I wonder... what if from the very start I told Chloe that I still love Zach? What if I told Zach that I don't care about the others anymore? What if James and I didn't pretend that we're going out? Will things be different?

What if?

Yeah, what ifs, the ultimate sign of regret. I lament for all the unwise things that I did. I was wrong, okay. What I did was so stupid. I was reckless. I just let go of the person I loved. I just turned my back from my happiness.

What hurts more was that I kept on pushing him away, leading him to someone else, but the moment he stepped out of my life, that's the time I understood that...I need him. I want him. But it was too late.

Truly, you only learn to value the person's presence once they're already away.

"Tori." I turned my head to the person who just rushed inside my room. As I looked at her, the tears started to pour out again.

"What happened?" She asked, worry was written all over her face. I can't answer her, I can't even look at her in the eyes. She went to my direction and hugged me. "Hey, it's okay. Let it all out." She soothed my back as she said those calming words.

"I—I--- I still love him. So much." I burst out with full honesty and sincerity in my tone.

I felt her tighten her embrace. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

It hurts, a lot. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. How can a simple heartache be this painful? This is unbearable. How can I survive this? Why did I let myself to come this far?

"Tori, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She kept on apologizing with a shaky voice. When I let go, that's the time I saw her crying.

"Chloe?" I called her out.

"I know what I did was unforgivable. I'm a selfish person. I knew it. I knew that you still love him and he loves you so much. I'm just afraid, Tori. You found someone who'll love you for who you are but then I don't have anyone. I thought that Zach is the only person who'll love me for me." She confessed. I don't know what to do or say. I was speechless.

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