Dear My Sanity (A Jeff the Killer Story)

Chapter Thirty~*

1~ Jeff

Jamie... Is gone. I searched all through Slender mansion and the woods surrounding it. I haven't seen a trace of her. I know that her disappearance has to deal with her last talk with Slender and, for that, I hate him. He made her leave and so I hate him.

I stumble into my bedroom, a bottle of whiskey in my hand and look at the bed. It looks so big. Too big for one person but perfect for two. I feel a sharp, stabbing pain in my chest and I feel like curling into a ball. I don't understand these feelings, but I do know that I hate them. I hate them almost as much as I hate Slender... And Jamie. I hate Jamie. I hate her for leaving me and not telling me why but most of all I hate her for making me feel like this.

"I hate you!" I scream and throw the bottle at the bed. It breaks and the whiskey leaves a large wet stain in the bed. The shards of glass glitter in the light. "I hate you." I declare and sink to my knees.

For hours, or so it feels like, I stay in that position in front of the bed, remembering her. The way she smelled and the way her skin felt so smooth against mine. How she barely began to smile at me and make jokes and allow me to hold her. How she always wishes she had her long hair and constantly complains around her short hair even though I've found her staring happily at herself in the mirror more than just one time. The way she looked when I broke down the door to the restroom both times, so fragile as if she needed to be treated with extreme caution. The way she fights like a savage and gives no mercy, not even to me, her own partner.

I eventually stand, but not to go to the bed, to go to the restroom. I quietly close the door behind me and slide the lock in place. My legs give in and I let myself crumple to the floor.

"Why?" I whisper and clutch my head. "Why did you have to go? And without telling me?" My heart gets slashed at again with the imaginary knife. "Why?" I scream and fold into a ball.

I hear the other CreepyPasta's come and try to talk to me but none of them understand. None of them know what it's like to be in Jamie's presence. They don't know about the sparkle she gets in her eyes when she's happy or when she's proud of herself. They wouldn't understand why I now try so hard in front of Jamie just because the way she looks at me. They wouldn't know the strange pain I'm now feeling in my chest, like Jaime has taken her knife and is now stabbing at me repeatedly. They never felt her skin against theirs or her lips against theirs... They don't know anything.

"Jeff, come on. She's just a girl. You can find another anywhere." I hear Steven through the door and for the first time a different feeling bursts through. A feeling I'm used to.

I open the door and look at Steven. He's leaning on the wall with Dark, Gold and Ben. I refuse to look at Gold but I turn my gaze onto Steven.

He looks up at me and catches my angry glare. I can see fear in his eyes.

"Jeff, she's just a girl. Now, stop looking at me like that or Slender's thing will go off and you'll be feeling worse than you already do." He smirks and moves closer to me, as if he wants to get in my face but is too scared to actually do it.

With a savage growl I leap at him and the blinding pain builds up. This time though, it doesn't feel that bad. As a matter of fact, the pain of Jamie leaving hurts more than this. I stagger but fall to my knees. I force myself to stand again. He moves away and looks at me in surprise. I stagger again, moving to him through the growing pain. He takes off again but stops in the doorway.

"You know, she probably left you for another guy." He declares then leaves.

Another knife. I sink to my knees and watch as Ben and Dark leave. Gold watches them go then kneels beside me. He reaches out to help me and I push him away but he stays by my side. Slender comes in and gives me the medicine and shot but he can't meet my eyes. When he finishes, he blinks out.