In Case of Heartbreak

25 | onward

C H A P T E R 2 5 | K A T I E 

Stella's eyes were wide as they skimmed over the letter Dean had left for me. She'd snatched it from my fingers with anger when she'd arrived, though it was slowly dissipating into an unexpected softness.

"Wow," she said once she'd finished reading, her gaze lifting to meet my nervous one as we sat on opposite sides of the couch, "That's – "

"I know," I sighed, conflicting thoughts running through my head.

Since I'd returned from work to see that letter waiting for me in my mailbox, I'd been apprehensive and nervous about opening it. I'd wanted, on some level, to keep the situation black and white, which was why I'd put so much effort into dodging Dean's attempts at talking everything through. I wanted to keep believing that he'd been wrong, but the longer time went on, the more I began to realize that my thoughts were blurring.

Dean surely had a reason for keeping his plans from me, though up until I'd opened his letter, I hadn't been able to pinpoint exactly what it was.

He had wanted me to go with him.

That realization had thrown everything in my head off balance. Over the past couple of days, I'd been slowly driving myself crazy thinking of how things might have happened differently if I hadn't been the one to answer his phone that afternoon. Would he have truly asked me to join him in New York, or would he have left me in the dark?

The questions were maddening when I didn't have the answers, and in desperate need of a second opinion, I'd called Stella and invited her over. I knew that I could count on her to help me sort out what was going on inside my head – she always had, or at the very least, just listen as I talked through everything.

"What are you going to do?"

I dropped my head, running a hand through my hair in frustration. "I don't know," I trailed, "I mean, he's already left. What can I do?"

"You can call him," she shrugged, her voice soft and somewhat unsure.

I raised an eyebrow in surprise, not expecting her to have a complete change of heart so quickly. "And say what?" I asked. That was my main problem, as the thought of dialing his number and hearing his voice again had crossed my mind many times after reading his heartfelt words, though I'd always talk myself out of it, not knowing what to say.

"You don't have to say much," she replied. "Just listen to what he has to say."

"But what difference will it make? I'll still be here and he'll still be in New York... there's too much space separating us." It was only when I noticed a mask of sadness flit across Stella's features that I realized what I'd said and an apologetic look filled my gaze. "Sorry," I continued quietly, "I didn't mean – "

Her lips twisted upwards slightly, though the attempt at a smile was dull and sad. "It's okay, it was for the best."

Holden and her had decided to end their relationship amicably after realizing that she was staying in town while he was heading back to Philadelphia; his hometown where he'd managed to find a job. They'd parted as friends, no hard feelings on either side, but I could still see that Stella was hurting. Holden had been the first guy she'd been serious about, and it would take a while before she'd be completely over those feelings.

"Besides," Stella continued, her mood lifting as she spoke, "Just because long distance wasn't in the cards for me, that doesn't mean it wouldn't work for you and Dean."

Having never believed that long distance could work, especially when the relationship itself was still quite new, I said, "Stella, we're more than 400 miles apart."