Forgiving You (Dublin Sisters #2)

Chapter 47

On the intricate Islamic art embroidered prayer mat, Nawal prostrated, pouring her heart out to the One above all His creations. In the serenity of late night, she lost time as she cried to her Lord who knew her deepest thoughts. Tears trickled down her eyes, trailing along her nose dampening the prayer mat.

She had been negligent of the consequences one's action can lead to. In her youth and gullibility she had made wrong decisions. Trusting her heart and believing others had pure intentions as her, she had swept with the wind until she was hit by a big boulder. This time the scars were much deeper. She pondered, what her life become. One minute she was forced to marry a man she had never thought of as more than a brother and when she was finally accustomed to this marriage, she was divorced with only a statement. But that was half the truth. Had she left her past bury where it belonged and not bring her past with the present this wouldn't have happened. To her, Daud had been a symbol of hope. Her hope had been right under her nose. Her husbands. Rather than fixing her relationship with Salman she had sought hope from someone else. Now that they were growing closer, Daud had played his ultimate game.

She sniffed and her shoulders shuddered. Her arms ached for prostrating for so long but this discomfort was far less than what her soul was enduring. When people snored away in the cold winter night, she was awake crying out for forgiveness. Repenting to the one who will listen. A plea escaping her lips.

"Forgive me and ease my affairs..."

This wasn't the first night she cried to her Creator. She had lost count of the many nights she was silently weeping on the prayer mat. In the quietness of the night, her heart cries were only heard by One and only. Allah loved the worshipping of late night when His slave is awake in the darkness of the night.

"..Those who pray and beg Allâh's Pardon in the last hours of the night." [Quran 3: 17].

Minutes to hours were in prayer in solitude. In fact, she found herself asleep on the mat when the predawn prayer fajr phone alarm would startle her from her light sleep.

Days were spent in bleakness. Nothing mattered. She had locked herself in the privacy of the guest room. No one approached her except Seema. She didn't even entertain her. There were times when her aunt was more of a mother than her own mother. And in the last few days this was clearly evident.

As for Salman, he had made himself even more scarce since the last time she had spoken to him. After Manal's insult and Salman's deafening silence over the issue, Nawal had given up. There was no point in begging to the creations when she could beg to the Creator and will not be demeaned. In fact, as she prayed late night, she felt her heart at ease. Her beliefs strengthening and for the first time in ages hope was finally enlightening in her heart.

"And verily, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them, (till his death)." [Quran 20: 82].

Perhaps, this was most important in life. Indeed, when she had trust in Allah all her affairs will work out because He was the best of the planners.

Verily, He is the Most Merciful and will not let His slave's plea unanswered...

****

The sun was slowly rising as the Earth and all that it contains bathed in the orange red hues brightening from the darkening night. Seema sat stiff on the living room sofa with a tasbih (a string of beads used to recite supplications) between her forefinger and thumb. Her lips were silently moving and every few seconds a bead would be flickered down the string. Her eyes were trained on the stairs waiting.