"I can't control my own actions anymore. It's like my body is taken over and I'm forced to watch the evil that is done." I explained as best as I could.
His bandaged fingers stroked the bandages on my arms. His brown eyes were locked on the blood stains in the white material.
"You haven't done much wrong in my eyes [Y/n]. Don't let this consume you." He encouraged me.
I opened my mouth to retort but Dazai raised his hand.
"Okay! Can I stop getting hit in the face today please?" I laughed nervously. Dazai cracked a smile. This was the first time he had seen this side of me.
"Only if you promise to go to a doctor. You need to get diagnosed. I'll even come with you if you need company. Don't think for a second that I don't still care for you."
I felt my eyes beginning to water.
Dazai pulled away.
"Oh please don't cry. Quit it with the waterworks." He joked handing me a box full of tissues.
Instead of reaching for the box, I pulled him in for a hug. He was tense seeing me make the first move.
"Thank you Dazai." I whispered.
He caressed my head, stroking my hair. Then, Atsushi appeared in my mind.
He hates you, you know.
"Dazai, how is Atsushi?" I asked.
"And the moment is ruined." He said pushing me away gently. I rolled my eyes and flicked his hand. "Owww. Atsushi isn't looked too good after what you said to him." Dazai continued.
I facepalmed.
"Hey! No more hurting yourself."
"Trust me, I deserve it." I ensured.
Dazai still seemed to be against me doing anything. He would watch my every movement no matter how small it is.
"You can't help it. You were unstable. We still aren't sure if you are not a danger to yourself or others."
"So, I have to be locked in this room being treated like a child." I sarcastically said.
My words seemed to trigger an emotion in Dazai that I couldn't put my finger on. He seemed very hurt however.
"Did anyone tell you about the time Atsushi encounter the mafia member with the power of mind control?" Dazai questioned me. I shook my head no in response. "Well, this mafia member approached Atsushi and the girls at the train station. His power allows him to control the mind of anyone who hurts him."
His story made me feel sick to my stomach but, I listened intently.
"The boy had bumped into Atsushi and pulled down his sleeve to reveal glass shards in his skin. Atsushi then began his rampage, harming the girls." Dazai sighed and paused. "That boy with one of the most powerful gifts, was under my care when he was younger. He was too unstable so, I made the stupid decision to lock him away, isolating him from the rest of the world for most of his childhood. Now, he is the was he is and I only feel regret."
"Dazai, I'm so sorry."
"I don't want to relive that event again. This time around, I'm going to do this the right way. I want you to get better [Y/n] because I care for you deeply even if you don't feel the same way." Dazai confessed.
"Thanks for not giving up on me." I said, resting my hand on his. "I am sure that there is someone that loves you Dazai."
(A/n: *cough* Akutagawa *cough*)
He forced a smile on his face for me.
"I should say the same for you [Y/n]." Dazai hinted at the grey haired boy. I sighed and rubbed my temples.
"I already ruined everything. There are times when someone should just give up you know." I denied his offer.
"I don't think he'll give up on you that easily." Dazai smirked.
"What are you talking about?"
Dazai looked past me and I turned to see Atsushi standing in the doorway.
"And I'll give you two someone privacy." Dazai ran out of the room with a smile on his face. Atsushi blushed as Dazai closed the door, followed by the click of a lock.
That bastard had locked us in!
"I don't know how I can one up Dazai's heart to heart speech." Atsushi sweat dropped. I wore a small smile.
"Your company alone is enough." I said.
Atsushi sat in the chair Dazai had once sat in. The boy pulled it closer to my beside.
"You know, this is the most I've heard you speak ever." Atsushi joked.
I blushed, lightly slapping his hand.
"It is!" He laughed.
"Now I'm embarrassed." I said lightly.
Atsushi shifted uncomfortably in his chair. I sighed, scooting over and patting the leftover space in the bed. I knew Atsushi was one for physical contact with another person as seen through his hugs.
We sat in silence as I played with my bandages. He flicked my hand trying to keep me from making them loose but, I kept tugging at them.
"Do I have to pin your arms down to the bed so, you won't bleed out?" Atsushi scolded in a motherly tone.
I couldn't contain my laughter.
I clutched his shirt, resting my head against his chest. His face heated up and he suddenly was cupping my face. I stopped laughing as we stared deeply into each other's eyes.
At that moment, I knew for sure that I was head over heels for the one person who had ever brought light into my life. These voices stopped when he was around and he made me experience emotions I had never known existed.
"Kiss me." I whispered.
Atsushi leaned in, tenderly pressing his lips to my own. I closed my eyes, tightening my grip on his shirt. His touch was warm. As cheesy as it is, I swear I felt sparks when we kissed.
I felt complete with Atsushi.
