The Tutor | 2016 ✓

17

|| Ryland's POV ||

Maybe one of my biggest pet peeves is when a book leaves you on a mega, huge, super cliff hanger. Or when you're texting someone and you ask them, like, a really super important question and they don't answer.

You go to every book store searching for that book's sequel. Or you wait by your phone, looking at that question you sent via text, the words sitting in that chat bubble, for hours and hours just waiting and waiting and waiting.

It's really an evil thing, you know. Waiting.

I feel like the only person who has this problem. Maybe I'm just really impatient but waiting and wondering for hours and hours, maybe even days, on end irritates me.

She left me on a cliff hanger. She left me on an opened text and didn't reply.

She just walked out of the door and I let her. Should I have? No. But I did and I may be the stupidest man ever.

I mean, she seems pretty stressed.

But I should've. I should've just grabbed her by the wrist and asked her what was really, truly wrong. She did tell me, but "everything" isn't enough of an answer for me.

What is this "everything", huh?

Usually when something is bothering someone I truly care about, I'm not the most personal, helpful person. I usually take care of everything with a punch in the face or a kick to the gut. Maybe some trash talk to go along with it if I'm feeling energetic that day.

That's probably what's gotten me in trouble all those times. I've been behind bars more than a human only spent 18 years on earth should've already but it happened. And I've changed. I'm trying my hardest to stay up with this.

And it's bothering the shit out of me.

I used to smoke, stress used to be relived more easily than it is now. I used to go beating up people who stood in my way. Oh, I was an ass and I have no shame in admitting it.

Why?

Because it kept people away from me and the people I cared for.

If you didn't stay away, you got a taste of my fist. And I swear to you, it don't taste very pleasant at all.

In the end, though, what would it all be for? Nothing.

Half the people I'm with now, in high school, college, or any school, I probably won't even acknowledge in my future. They'll all have families of their own and would have moved on.

People like me, though, will have nothing else but baseball and popularity. Without school, I'm probably nothing. I'm not good enough at baseball for the big leagues. I'll have to use my somewhat sort of intelligence and get my ass through college so I can get a decent job other than my mother and father's business that want me to inherit.

I don't plan on settling down. For the sake of me and the girl and children -beautiful children- that we'd make, they'd have a better life without me as their husband, father, grandfather, etc. whatever the hell else I could possibly be. Shit! I could be someone's third brother in law once removed or some complicated shit like that.

Whatever the hell it is, the person would have a hell of a lot better life without me in it, I can guarantee that.  Who wants a good-for-nothing, lying, drug-addicted (because that's what I would probably turn to) pretty boy, getting arrested all the time in their life?

I sure as fucking hell wouldn't.

Sometimes I wonder if, when I was being created, did that person who put me together give me the wrong brain? Like, did they accidentally switch out the smart persons' brain for mine who was being built right beside me? Messy work station, probably.

I have always wanted to be a psychologist though. I've always wanted to help people like me or going through the same problems. No one should ever have to go through some of the things I did without any help.

I may not seem like I've been through shit but, let me tell you something, I've been through it all. Every single thing, I've probably been through that shit.

For a fun, trouble making dude, I'm a pretty depressed one.

Ha.

The irony in it all is hysterical.

Damn, I'm such a mess. And I let her go.

Ever since she came into my life, I've forgotten all about it. And look at that. The minute she walks out, these thoughts that had been lingering in the back of my mind for the last month or so are now flooding my brain after the hurricane they had just came back in.

How is it possible that such a thing could happen. This girl, an amazing girl, changes everything with the sound of her voice. With the touch of her finger she makes my life... okay.

Things were okay.

Then she walked out my door.

Literally.

She's probably still walking back to her house along the sidewalk I jogged when I first met her.

I was on my run and heard a huge bang come from her house as I passed it. There were cars except for hers so I figured her parents weren't home yet. I, not only wanted to see her blonde hair and listen to the sound of her addicted voice, but needed to make sure she was okay.

What if that sound meant she had hurt herself falling down stairs or something large fell on her? I'd never be able to see her beautiful hair ever again. Or listen to her voice neither. That'd be a nightmare for me. I'd be even more of a mess than I already am.

What the hell are you doing stalling? Get your ass up and go get her! She's probably still on her way, walking to her house! Go! Now!

Geez, okay, okay, I'm going.

I get up off of my couch, and run out of my house.

I couldn't live a day without the sight of her blonde hair. My soul would melt if I couldn't hear the melody of her sweet voice. I have to convince her not to leave. She can't just walk out of my house and say that "she can't".

What can't she do?

I don't care. I'm going to get her. I'm going to get Blondie.
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lol it's 1 am and I'm writing this listening to "drugs" by EDEN. Actually in love with that song.

And today is my birthday !!!! I'm 14 ! Yasss bitchessssss !!

So here's a present for y'all from me lol

Anyways thanks for reading.

Comment, vote, follow meh.

I love you all, so , so much!

Buh-byeeeeeeeee!

-BlackMidnights