Chapter 8

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When I take a sip, a chocolatey sensation fills my mouth and I'm inevitably left with a moustache of squirty cream. It's delicious and I smile at him in approval as he sits down at the opposite end to me, also pulling his legs to his chest so that our toes in our socks are touching. We don't say anything to each other, instead choosing to sit there and clutch the warm drinks in our hands. As soon as I saw Chenle though, I took my head phones out and strangely this silent company is as good as, if not better than, that of my music.

"Thank you" I murmur as I place the empty mug on the table beside the sofa - one you'd dine at in summer.
"No problem. You looked like you needed some company - being alone can often be the worst thing" he replies kindly. He continues after a while with "I would say that I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do about it and knowing you, I doubt you want much sympathy - after all, that often seems like pity to most people"
"Thank you. And your right, I don't want apologises from people since there's nothing that can be done about it now" I tell him quietly, not daring to raise my words to loud in case of some unknown fear.

We sit for several minutes more, both in silence and looking out into the forest.

"It doesn't seem real yet. It was only four hours ago that I was with you guys in the forest, laughing and enjoying ourselves. Now, my parents are dead but it doesn't feel like it. It just feels like they're stuck in traffic and I'm simply wasting time and waiting for them to walk through the door to fetch me. It's as though part of my brain is telling me that they're running late." I suddenly say, wanting to tell someone my feelings.

"It's pointless telling me that it'll be fine, I know it will because I could have it a lot worse - at least I have my uncle. I just don't know how it'll turn out in the short term. What will it mean? I don't know how I'm going to face things, sorting out everything I mean. The funeral. Our house. All their possessions. It goes on Chenle and it's going to be hard on my uncle as well, it's his sister, the person he's known all his life. And I know I have a great group of friends and I guess for the time being that I have you guys but how do I tell them? It's not exactly the type of thing you casually drop into conversation" I continue, finally letting it all out.

"You work through it day by day, don't think about the future and what it'll hold, just take things as they come" he advises as I leave a pause in my speech.
"What do I tell my friends though - I'm meant to be going out with them tomorrow" I explain.
"You tell them that you can't come, you don't have to explain why necessarily or you could just say that there have been some family issues. Then, when you do next see them, you tell them and explain. I know, having hung out with your friends on a couple of occasions, that they'll be more than understanding." He suggests slowly, letting the words sink in.
"I don't know why I didn't come to you for advice even before this. You're a wealth of wisdom" I chuckle softly, not allowing myself to laugh completely amongst the tears, though they've now dried.
"What can I say? I'm under-appreciated" he jokes, bringing a smile to my face. "See, there's that beautiful smile" he teases as I blush shyly.
"Can you get me my iPad? It should be on the bedside table" I ask him. He nods and gets up, taking both his empty mug and mine with him.

Somehow, even after he's left, I'm not feeling as depleted and down as I was before. His advice makes sense and it's something I should follow. Similarly, as I said myself, there's nothing I nor anybody else can do about it so instead we have to move past it and live life.

He returns five minutes later, minus the mugs but with my iPad. No doubt he popped downstairs to the kitchen and put the mugs in the dishwasher. "Cheers" I tell him as he hands the device to me when another thought suddenly pops into my mind.

"How's my uncle?" I ask, worry for him consuming me. I could tell he'd been bottling up his emotions until I was out of sight, always considerate as to how I was doing as well and prioritising me.
"Not great. He's sat in the kitchen with Manager Lee and Manager Kim drinking soju so he's trying to drink away his worries. Don't worry though, they won't let him get drunk." Chenle reassures. "He'll be fine, just like you. You're both strong and while I've only known Manager Park a short time compared to some of the boys since I'm relatively new in the company, it's obvious. He won't let this break him. He has you after all"

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