Let's Get Things Straight | JiKook

treinta

Merry late Christmas !!
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"Jungkook... There's someone at the door for you."

It had been about a week since Jungkook and Jimin had last spoke, and the younger was sure that their relationship was definitely over, and he was the cause of its downfall.

"Who is it?" He called, voice fairly raspy as he sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. He was crying, he wouldn't hide it. He was the reason that his first serious relationship shattered apart and he was taking it hard.

"Just come here." Yoongi called back, Jungkook sighing and standing up, wiping at his eyes once before walking into their living room.

"What, Hyung?" He huffed, walking towards the door as well. Who he didn't expect to see standing there, was Jimin himself.

"You two have to talk, so I'll be going out." Yoongi smiled, grabbing his car keys and patting Jungkook's back before leaving. The door closed behind him, leaving just Jungkook and Jimin alone.

"Hi." Jimin mumbled.

"Hi." Jungkook returned, voice quavering slightly before he gestured to his living room. "Come in?"

Jimin nodded, following behind Jungkook as the younger walked towards the living room. The silence between them was heavy, resting upon both of their shoulders with such weight that they both felt like they were going to be crushed.

Until Jungkook broke it.

"I want to hug you, but I don't know if you want me to." Jungkook mumbled, looking down at the ground to avoid Jimin's gaze. He couldn't decipher the older's expression, and that scared him. In situations like this he would usually carefully pick his words to cater to the expression he could read on the other person's face, causing as little damage as possible.

But when he couldn't tell what the other person was thinking, he didn't know what to do. He felt lost.

Especially now that he was the reason for all of the issues. Jungkook felt like he was standing on a sheet of thin ice, every step he took and every word he spoke further causing cracks in his relationship with Jimin. As Jimin stood before him, he felt like he was one misstep away from cracking the ice beyond all repair, and plunging into the icy waters that lay below.

He could already feel tears pricking at eyes, at the thought that Jimin could be here to tell him that they were done. But when he felt Jimin wrap his arms around him, that's when the he couldn't hold them back anymore.

He felt a tear escape from his eye as he wrapped his arms around Jimin's smaller frame, heart aching as he leaned down to bury his head in the crook of Jimin's neck.

Jimin on the other hand was shocked. Had been since he saw Jungkook at the door with red eyes and tangled hair. He had been under the impression that Jungkook was taking it easier than he was, that he didn't care as much. But as the younger had his head buried in his shoulder, his own shoulders shaking with sobs; Jimin knew that he was wrong.

Jimin decided that at this point, no words were needed to be said. They could talk later. Right now, he merely rubbed circles against Jungkook's back soothingly, taking in a shaky breath as he felt the younger's grip around him tighten. "Jimin-Hyung I'm sorry."

Jungkook's words were muffled against Jimin's shoulder, the younger taking in a deep breath before leaning away. "I'm so sorry. I messed up, again. I've messed up so many times with you and I'm sorry for everything."

"Jungkook-"

"I'm sorry for what I put you through when I was with Mina, I know that I already apologized for that but I still think about it." Jungkook wiped at his eyes. "I'm sorry that I basically used you, because nobody deserves that. I only thought about me." He took in a shaky breath, hands trembling softly as he brushed a few hairs out of his eyes. "I'm sorry that you've had to deal with all of the shit I've put you through. I'm such a bad boyfriend."

"You're not a bad boyfriend." Jimin sighed, frowning and tucking his hands into his pockets.

"Don't lie." Jungkook huffed. "I know that I am, I don't know how you've put up with me for so long. A good amount of the time you knew me I was cheating on the girlfriend that I had! Why would you want to be with someone who does that?"

"Because I can't keep myself away from you, Jungkook!" Jimin exclaimed. "There are sometimes when I did want to leave you but I just couldn't! I couldn't bring myself to because I didn't want you out of my life!"

Jungkook bit his lip, gaze anywhere but Jimin as the older continued. "You were so bad for me when I first met you. I should've left the moment I met Mina, but you fascinated me Jungkook, I was drawn to you. The affection you showered me with felt so wrong because I wasn't yours, but I never wanted it to end - you made me feel so needed."

He sighed.

"And that's what everyone wants isn't it? To feel needed?" Jimin asked, netting gazes with Jungkook. "I haven't been in a relationship that felt like in such a long time, I kind of forgot what it felt like. But the way you held me, and kissed me, how you left your girlfriend for me, I felt wanted." He reached forward, curling his fingers around Jungkook's hand. "Then you completely brushed me off when I confessed to you, and I didn't anymore."

"I do need you Jimin-Hyung, and I do want you, I always have; even when I thought that I didn't." Jungkook sighed. "I just have a really hard time expressing how I feel sometimes. I've never really been in a serious relationship before, this is new to me. Nobody's ever told me that they love me before, because I never let them. I broke it off before they could."

"Are you afraid of commitment?" Jimin asked, Jungkook frowning once the words were spoken. He had been asked this questions many times before, by various people.

To all of the other partners that asked him he'd say 'Yes, I'm just not a relationship type of guy'. But that was a lie, and he knew it was

"I'm afraid that I'll end up being more committed than the other person. That they'll decide that they don't want me anymore, and I'll still be left with feelings that I can't brush away." He sighed, looking into Jimin's eyes as he spoke. "I'm scared of being hurt. Which is ironic, because in order to avoid being hurt I've hurt other people."

"You can't fix a mirror by breaking another glass, just like you can't heal yourself by hurting someone else." Jimin mumbled, pausing for a few moments before speaking again. "I want to be with you Jungkook, but only if you're true to your feelings about me."

"I'm scared to." Jungkook answered. "I always have been, when it came to love."

"Would it be too much to ask for you to try?" The older asked, watching Jungkook hesitate for a moment before answering.

"I don't think so."

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a/n:
*very unedited wow*

i got wings for christmas and I'm still so hype about it wow. I hope that you all had a great Christmas as well :))

- Charlie :)