Chapter 20

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I had one moment of solitude over the weekend; just one, just one brief moment where everything around me was still and quiet. It's like when you open your eyes for the first time in the morning and  you just lay there and take in the fact that you have to get up and go another day. Then right away you have no idea what your first thought of the day was and you try really hard to think about what it was but it's nothing. It's gone. It doesn't matter.  It was that quick and that forgettable. 

I had woken up Saturday and didn't want to move because I knew how much pain I could potentially be in and I'd rather remain mummified in my bed then have to deal with the pain. It would be there later on and maybe I'd give up and deal with it then. My mum had other plans for me that morning when she knocked on my door to wake me up. When she opened my door she gasped at me and I hadn't really known why until she asked me what had happened to my face. 

Instinctively, I brought my hand up to my face to feel around for any abnormalities. I already knew about the scratch along my cheek. I had found about it when Harry was cleaning off my face. It stung then but now it was already becoming a scab so it was nothing that I was worried about. I just couldn't hide it from my mum and I didn't even have time to think of what to tell her. She had sat down next to me and held my face in her hands to study me, her hands softer than Harry's. 

She told me my nose looked swollen and that's because I had it smashed into the ground. I told her I got hit in the face with a ball. I've been hit in the face before and I never told her that so telling her now felt like I was finally confessing something about myself to her. I just left out the part where it wasn't an accident. 

I could breathe just fine and I had to argue my case with her by inhaling and exhaling breaths at her controlled count. I wanted to roll my eyes because it was obvious that I could breathe because I slept through the night and woke up. The only reason I held back was because I knew how serious she was taking this. 

Then, after my mum was done checking my vitals, I asked her why she was bothering me early on a Saturday morning. All she wanted to do was go out to town and have some breakfast. I agreed but my mind wasn't completely on my morning meal. I couldn't help but look down into my lap to look at my phone. It was pretty rude of me to be doing this, especially with my mum talking but I wanted to hear from Harry. I heard from Liam right after I messaged him that same night. He answered me to have a goodnight and he'd see me on Monday. 

I didn't hear from Harry all weekend and I thought that maybe I would so he could change the bandage on my shin. Even though I did feel some disappointment, it's not like I found the courage to message him first. What if he was waiting by his phone for me like I did with him? Would he really be doing that though? Maybe he was too busy dealing with other things that I wasn't a priority. I don't know. I just was looking forward to seeing him more outside of school on the weekends. 

He was on my mind Sunday night, the way he used to be before we were friends. I had a dream about him that turned into a little bit of a nightmare.

I was in the change room showering after the game we had won. All the boys had left to go party and I waited until they had all left. As I stood under the water and rinsed off my face I felt a set of hands start from my rib cage and began stroking my body all the way down to my hips. I didn't turn around because I wasn't nervous as to who it was because the touch and the way it continued at a slow pace brought me this sense of comfort. Then I titled my head back further to rest it against a shoulder, the other body with me stepping closer to me as the arms draped loosely around my body, resting there as if there was no way we'd be interrupted. 

It all felt so real: the brush of his hair against my cheek and neck right before he placed a kiss onto my shoulder, the smile that spread across his lips as he pulled away, humming against me. I was perfectly content sinking into the person I was wrapped up in like being wrapped up in sheets. 

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