Saving Me (A SHATTER ME FANFIC)

M O R N I N G S

KNOCK KNOCK.

Ignoring the rattling sound on my door, I turn over and press the pillow against my ear to block the sound. My head throbs like a drum. I had somehow managed to get a solid four hours of sleep. The knocking still continues, each blow to the door a beat adding to my monstrous headache. Last night was the worst in my life as far as I can remember, not counting the ones in the asylum.

My legs and arms are aching from all the movement I had to do whilst being sleep deprived and low on energy. It had been a struggle sleeping on my own, but I did after a few painful tries. Many people would cringe or criticize my need to sleep with someone for comfort, but it's been such a part of who I am that I don't really think about it much.

"Oh for God's sake," I mutter. "Go away."

The door clicks open as I sink deeper into the sheets with a hope that they would think I'm already out of bed. My prayers are left unanswered. The warm, comfy sheets are thrown off me and cold air hits my skin like needles. The ache in my limbs intensifies and I want to hurl myself at the person and rip their eyeballs out. But I don't have the energy nor the stamina for it. I content myself by yelling instead.

"What the hell!" I cover my bare legs with my arms, my jeans had ridden up to my thighs. "Why is everyone—"

The person launches themselves on me, slamming me back into the bed. They surround their arms around me in a crushing embrace. I'm about to push them off when I notice the long brown hair. I relax in her embrace and sigh deeply. I missed her hugs. And her presence. I'd been taking it for granted. Instead of pushing my sister away from hugging me, I hug back.

"Julie." I bristle. "I was about to punch the living daylights out of you."

"Yeah?" She smiles, backing away. "But you didn't."

"You got lucky." I smirk.

"Sure." She rolls her eyes. "How'd you sleep last night?"

She knows about my need to sleep with some person at my side. Sometimes it got very bad, the nightmares were unbearable and I couldn't contain my screams. I couldn't breathe alone I was so scared at times. I always wanted someone to be near by. To make me believe that I was alive. That the world hadn't ended while I had been sleeping. Someone to anchor my sanity.

I was pathetically dependent, I knew.

"Not a wink." I tell her honestly.

She looks guilty. "I'm so sorry. They took me away and I –"

"Hey." I pat her cheek. "It wasn't your fault. It was that ... stuck up idiot's fault. He separated us not you. You have no reason to feel guilty about it. If anyone should be guilty and shameful, it should be him. Not you."

"Yes, but..." She trails off looking at the door. We both sit up, I lean against the headboard for supposed while Julie sits in front of me. She wraps her arms around herself, "I should've stood up to him. He can't separate us both. He can do whatever the hell he likes. Say whatever goddamn thing that comes to his mind. I wouldn't care. But you..."

She looks at me with a fire in her eyes. I smile weakly.

"You're my everything." She holds my hand. "The only person who didn't repulse away from me because of my skin. Who dared to touch me. Tried to erase the boundaries I tried to choke myself in—"

"Oh Julie, stop." I wrap her in a crushing hug. I would die for her. "You are perfect. Not flawless but perfect. In the most beautiful way." I whisper in her ear. "And none of these assholes deserves to listen to a piece of your heart through the cameras."