Dismissing Dakota | ✓

»29. Wolves«

Snip.

"I hate you." I whimpered between gritted teeth. I was looking at my own reflection but imagined as if I was looking into every face that made me get to this point-Finn's, Beth's, Dakota's, Jared's. They flash through my mind, dissolving in the madness as my hair fell from the tight grip of my fingers. I hated the fact that I had cried so much. I hated that I cared so much.

Snip.

I didn't know my body, let alone my mind, could shelter this much hate, so much anguish.

Snip. Snip.

Thinking back at what Dakota did made me want to explode. How was I supposed to go on and start over with someone who had decided to ruin me before knowing me? He explained himself, citing that they had knowledge of his sister's suicide. I wanted to believe that it wasn't all a lie-that the kisses weren't forced, the short moments of kindness weren't scripted, too. I was losing my mind, questioning every little detail, each encounter like a mad woman-hanging off the edge of my own sanity like it was a cliff.

Snip.

Snip. Snip.

"SILVIA!" Ronnie rushed in, snatching the scissors out of my hand. I'd cut off most of my hair already. There was no use in her taking them away from me. The damage was done. Most of my hair was in the sink, sticking to the sides and floating off the cotton shirt I was wearing. "Oh my, God. Why did you cut off all of your hair?"

"I'm having a mid-teen crisis." I huffed.

"You're going insane."

I shrugged. "Same thing."

She sighed and placed the scissors down on the sink, then led me to my room. Once again, I skipped school, but this absent garnered a reaction by my best friend. Ronnie arrived at my house a half an hour ago, stumbling in with her laptop and bags of snacks. I wasn't in the mood for the movie marathon she had planned out for us. While explaining all that I'd felt in the last 48 hours, I had gotten to a breaking point and excused myself to the bathroom.

"I'm worried about you. First you skip school, then you won't even consider eating any of the things I brought. Dakota told me how you fainted when he came here."

"You're talking to him?" I snapped.

"I don't have a problem with him, Silvia. You do."

"I wouldn't call it a problem."

"What would you call it then? Because I was just over at Heath's and he's been mopping around there just like you are."

I stared at a single black strand, stuck on my thumb. "I don't know. I wanted space from him. I can't trust anyone at that school-besides you. If I didn't have you, I think I would've been gone long ago. That, and the fact that I was two months away from graduation."

"You might not graduate if you keep up this horrible attendance. Your grades matter."

"It's hard to think about academics when my life's kind of falling apart."

She stroked my back, frowning. "Don't let them win, Silvia."

With wet eyes, I blinked up at the startlingly new girl sobbing in front of me. "It's a little too late for that."

"This, this you can save." She remarked, putting her hand into locks and combing it back. Before, my hair went down my back, now it curled at the nap of my neck. "It's hair, Silvia. Hair grows back. Just be glad you didn't give yourself bangs. I tried bangs after a bad breakup. Worst. Choice. Ever. I looked like coconut head from Ned's Declassified."