Alnihayya

||M e t a l||

T h i r t y
This one is for taiyabamashaz

:)

You called to Allah with patience, hoping for mercy to occur.

So the heart lived with sincerity and you began to hover like a bird.

-Farhat al amr-
(One of my favourite nasheeds)

☆

Mashal

The iconic yellow taxi cruised down the Syrian freeway towards the airport. Sanan was sitting in the front passenger seat with the driver while I was at the back.
I shifted in my seat, letting the leather to comfort me.

It had not been that much of an emotional goodbye with Ibrahim. Mainly because he didn't want me to start crying and emotionally blackmail him to let me stay in Syria.

He simply said 'Assalam o alaikum' and gave me his credit card along with the pin code telling me that I could use it for anything whatsoever.

I wanted to protest against it but to be honest, I needed that money. I had no other source of income and I didn't want to burden Uncle Suleiman with my expenses.
I thanked Ibrahim and assured him that I would return all his money to him once I finish uni and get my own job.
He laughed at this and replied, "You won't have to wait that long. I'm pretty sure you'll return it to me as soon as you turn eighteen."

I just nodded at him in confusion but I really couldn't see how I would be able to return his money so soon. I mean I'm gonna turn eighteen in just six months in sha Allah.

"So Mashal you didn't even invite me to your walima?" Sanan asked out of the blue, eyeing me through the rear view mirror.

His question caught me off guard, interrupting my thinking process.

"Pardon?" I asked, hoping that he didn't say what I heard.

"I said" He turned around to face me, "you didn't even invite me to your walima."

I masked away the grief that his question brought me. It was like sprinkling salt on my wounds. "I- I didn't even have my walima. They attacked before-"

"I'm sorry." He whispered as soon as he realised what I was about to say. He turned back to his previous position, feeling guilty for asking me that question.

I took in a deep breath with his question still haunting me. I knew Sanan would not have the courage to ask another question after this one.
He was just attempting to start a conversation but now he would regret it.

Rightfully, he kept his silence during the whole car drive. The only sounds that I could hear were of the changing of the gears by the driver, the traffic outside and my heart beating in my chest.

It was kind of strange. It felt as if my heart had a rythm, as if it was trying to say something but I couldn't understand for all they teach us in college is that the heart makes a pointless lub dub lub dub sound but now that I noticed it, it seemed to be entirely different.

Before I could ponder more upon my heart beat, the driver put on the parking break stopping the car at the airport.

I stepped out of the car and watched in silence as Sanan payed the taxi driver and walked up to me.
I had my eyes cast low, too sad to know that I was leaving without Zeyara.