Creepypasta Boyfriend Scenarios

You Celebrate Christmas With Him

(Without further ado, I present a chapter that should've been put up a year ago! Quick hint: the end contains the best bit and my author's note is well worth a read too!)

Jeff the Gingerbread Man

Picture this: Christmas Day, you trudged downstairs and found yourself smack dab in the middle of a Hollywood-class holiday disaster scene.

The tree that you and Jeff had spent hours decorating the night before lay on its side, thrashing like a shark out of water, glass baubles smashing into the floor and plastic ornaments bouncing off in all directions.

Upon lifting a handful of prickly branches to find the cause of the ruckus, you discovered BEN tangled up in the multicoloured lights, clutching a candy cane violently.

Disgusted, you let go. This gave him a whack in the noggin full of pine needles. You paid no heed to his squeals of pain.

Moving on, you found the partially roasted Christmas turkey lodged firmly in a stocking. Partially roasted as in, one part was well done and juicy whlist the other half was still raw pink when you pulled it out.

All the other stockings had fallen into a crumpled heap on the milk-splashed floor, covered in soot. You'd hung them nowhere near a fireplace. Running a hand through your knotty morning hair, you found yourself desperately trying to comprehend it all.

At least the cookies you'd left out for Santa were still there. You stared at them and sighed in relief. The plate burst into screaming flames.

The cookies were scorched down to bitter charcoal, but you had no time to dwell on it, for you heard the distinct sound of D/N's barking and someone's muffled shouting coming from the kitchen.

Running as fast as you could to the scene of the crime, you found D/N sitting in front of the oven, tail wagging while he/she howled on like a broken record.

Dear Zalgo, don't tell me there's someone in my oven!

Minding safety first, you put on a pair of oven mitts and then opened the door. A demon tumbled out, his tail whipping a crack in the kitchen tiles. D/N immediately jumped him, and started furiously humping his leg.

"Aarugh! Get this little monstrosity off me!"

"Zalgo?" you gaped, eyes practically bulging out of their sockets.

The prince of darkness (reeking of alcohol, and looking most un-demonic with flashy glitter in his hair and a Santa hat on his head), made a shush gesture.

"Don't say a word, girl, or I will order my top henchman to make an assassination attempt on you right here and now!"

"Why the f*** are you in a bikini!?"

He vanished lickedy split, leaving behind a very confused (and somewhat disappointed) dog. You shook your head in amazement, but not necessarily the good kind.

"Please, no more surprises..."

"Hi," Jeff said.

You almost jumped out of your skin.

"Where did you come from!? Why is this happening to me? What is wrong with the world today? Whose ancestors did I displease?"

Breaking off into a babbling tangent, you sank dramatically to your knees. Jeff sat down next to you and sympathetically patted your shoulder. For some reason, he had a couch cushion under him.

"There, there. It won't get any better, so you should quit complaining and suck it up. That's what Nana used to say to me whenever I painted her toenails! Did I help?" he smiled, unfazed.