Even though I'm on my own, I know I'm not alone..

Six

I am such a failure! Why am I like this no one understands if someone saw me like this they would call me insane. It's difficult to fight through every day. If I could die it would be so much easier! But it's my birthday tomorrow. I can't, I won't! I can't live another year!! That's terrible. I don't go on like this I can't do this!!

I messaged Emily, she's my best friend she needs to know that I will be going to hell.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm doing the right thing.. it's better for everyone if I go. I won't be far. I'm just going home. Where I belong. Hell. I can't fight my demons so I'm going to become one.. don't cry, you don't need to miss me tell Keith that he's better without me. I won't be missed for long. I want you to just forget you met me! I'm not important. I'll be forgotten.. goodbye I do love you I'm just doing what's best."

Me not thinking I sent the message but she knew a friend who lived near by. She sent him to stop me as she was too far away. He ran to mine and got to my back garden just as I was leaning out the window.

"Alex! No you can't do this stop!"

"Fuck off Justin I'm going!"

"Yes your going back inside!"

"PLEASE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MY PAIN! I WANT IT TO END I NEED IT TO END I DON'T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS!!!"

"BUT!! Alex.. it's your birthday tomorrow"

"Exactly! I don't wanna live another torturous year! Justin you have to let me jump!"

"Think of it like this then.. jump. Go for it. But there's only two stories up! What if you don't die! You break several bones but you don't die!"

"But... b-but.."

"But it's not worth it.. come down the stairs and meet me round the front you need a hug, I trust you'll be okay"

I climbed back into my room and walked away from the window. I went down stairs and there he was outside I hated myself. But I ran out and hugged Justin. As much as I wanted to die the window wasn't my best bet. I mean I have tried before but they attempts failed I drank nail polish remover. But that just made me ill I overdosed on pills that were out of date.. but they were out of date.. so that just made me ill. Am I immortal? ! Ugh.. one day