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Five

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"There is no love of life without despair of life."

Albert Camus


The next morning arrived much like the others. Claire woke early, early enough to watch the sky flirt with the gray dawn. Despite the time she woke up, she laid in bed and huddled under the warm blankets. Beside her, Nate continued to sleep soundly.

She loved these moments, these calm moments, where the stresses of the day hadn't yet dug their claws into her thoughts. When she was in bed, before she got up, she didn't have to think about anything. Or anyone.

Nate curled his arm around her waist and, with little thought, she snuggled deeper. At first, it'd been hard to get close. The last couple years of her life with this pack had been a tough road. Pack members had treated her family as scum, and she'd been bullied and harassed. Separation from the pack had become a necessity to keep sane. That meant, other than her family, interactions with others were limited. Letting people get close, learning to trust them, was hard. But being with Nate—that was easy as breathing.

"Glad you're back." Nate's cold nose traced the back of her neck, his breath hot along her shoulder.

"I wasn't aware that I'd gone anywhere," she said. Her words stuck slightly in her throat—something they often did when she woke.

"Your wolf and I got pretty close last night."

Claire turned around in his arms, taking in the details of him. Nate always looked best in the morning light. Today would be cloudy, with some rain here and there, but even with the clouds, the light filtered in through the windows nicely. It highlighted the tiny flecks of gold in his brown eyes, the little white hairs along his cheek, and the small spattering of freckles along his nose. This morning he smelled like grass and laundry detergent and—

Her. He smelled a lot like her.

"Please tell me she didn't—"

"I learned two things last night. One, your wolf likes to play in the fast lane. And two, she's kind of handsy. Did you know that?"

Claire rolled to her back and closed her eyes. Luna help her.

A shadow fell over her. Nate's hand came up to her cheek. "Honey, I don't care if she's handsy. I care if you care that she's too handsy."

"Trust my wolf to try to assault you in your sleep."

"Somehow, I survived."

She had to laugh at that. "You know, when you wiggle your eyebrows like that, you look like a creeper."

"I'm not the one assaulting people."

"Hey!"

Nate chuckled and fell back to the bed. "Your words, not mine."

Claire fiddled with the collar of her t-shirt. Something about it wasn't right. "I don't care if she's handsy," she admitted.

"No, but you don't like that you don't remember it."

He knew her almost too well these days. Claire liked that. "No, I don't. She came out again? That's...that's not that long of a jump." Usually, when Claire's wolf came out, it was because something big was happening, or she felt something needed to be known. Her wolf didn't do it often. That she'd made two appearances in 24 hours unnerved Claire.

What are you doing? she asked her wolf.

In reply, her inner beast sent back an image of her curled up, content.

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