To anyone that wonders if I'm writing about them: I am

19.

Y'all I'm pissed.
I want someone to explain to me why the fuck boys are so goddamn unloyal and evil and ain't shit.
Honestly I want someone to draw a map and point out the reasons why.
What the fuck do I look like?
Do I look like I have "dumb ass little ass girl " written on my face?
DO I
I must have that written all on my goddamn face, I have to thats the only logical ass reason as to why I can put my whole fucking entire ass heart and soul into a person and receive nothing but betrayal back.
This. Fucking. Little. Ass. Boy
This fucking boy moe
He literally had me in luv
IN FUCKING LOVE
BITCH WHO DID I THINK I WAS
I HAD BELIEVED EVERYTHING HE SAID TO ME
"I love you", "I'm always here for you if you need me", "we'll run away with eachother one day", "I don't deserve you "
He's right
He didn't
Didn't deserve me as a person, a woman, a female, a friend, a fucking companion,
Fucking nothing
Here's a tip sis: if he claims he'll always be there and starts to show u he's flakey, it's not a joke
Niggas that want you won't act up.
That's facts, point ->, blank ____, and the period.
I'm just
I have his Snapchat right?
And he keeps postin shit
Last night he posted about "why do females always look 3 times better once u stop fucking with them" and bitch u know what's funny, he ain't talking about me because he hasn't seen that I'm slowly no longer looking like some shit.
Look moe
I'm not mad at the whole we didn't work out as more than friends bs, we all knew it wouldn't work
I'm the type of girl let's say that makes you question if it's better to be in love with me as a friend or as more than a friend.
I'm that girl
Now I'm mad on a whole different level.
I'm pissed but I'm not actually pissed
Bitch I've reached the level of disappointment a parent must feel when their child does some bs and fucks their life up.
I trusted this bitch
I trusted him with the security that I had him, love or not, more than friends or not, disappeared, disappointing or not
BITCH I WAS THERE
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
WHY THE FUCK DID I GET TOSSED TO THE SIDE AND THESE OTHER BITCHES PRAISED ?
HUH?
I WAS THERE
I WAS THE ONE TRYNA BUILD YOUR DUMBASS CONFIDENCE BACK UP
WHAT THE FUCK MOE
LIKE SON IM SO MAD ON MOVAHS I WANNA BEAT HIS TWIG ASS SON
LIKE I DONT FIGHT MOE BUT I REALLY WANNA THROW HANDS
THIS FUCKING BOY WASTED MY GODDAMN TIME
HE WAS PLAYING YALL
Playing fucking hopscotch
And his dumbass was playing incorrectly
I hate the fact that at the end of the day, none of this fucking matters
Because he doesn't fucking care
I wonder what it's like to have someone actually mean the shit they say to you, and have them not fucking disappear and when they come back question why they're no longer your main priority.
Bitches really starting to think I'm just some hater bc I keep telling them niggas ain't shit
Bitch I'm just tryna spare any and everyone from this goddamn pain I'm feeling.
Literally,
It's been months
I've known you for years
Get the fuck outta my dreams
Outta my nightmares I should say
U subconsciously ruining my goddamn life and day
Bitch I've cried myself to sleep fucking for three months and you don't care.
Don't text me
Don't call me
Matter of fact do text me
Ask me why the fuck I'm so mad
Because I've never
FUCKING NEVER
I've never seen someone so blatantly fucking nonchalant
"She forgave me for everything, I done did everything to her this shit is everything to me"
Look moe
I tried to quote drake and that shit didn't work
You've found a way to fuck with my mind
You know I'm depressed right?
I b wanting to actually kill myself, you don't care tho and that's fine, I don't expect you to
I want fucking answers
I want a fucking letter, a goddamn essay bitch
I want it in 12 font MLA format double spaced so I can leave comments.
I want you to mail it to my address that you can get from my closest and most trusted friend
And I want fucking answers. I wanna know why your goddamn actions don't match your words and why the fuck u chose me to manipulate
I was minding my business 3-4 yrs ago and u just had to come fuck up my life.
Thank you
For ruining everything I found happiness in.
I liked this song call the morning by the weeknd
I can't listen to it without remembering that's the song I listened to the day you began to fuck up my world.
I'm tired moe
I'm tired of the goddamn shenanigans
You're not cute
You're not kind
You have no fucking goals
You're clueless
But you're good, you're a real good fucking manipulator
So like if everything else fails You could be some sort of predator or in jail
Look,
I'm mad because I was taken advantage of in the mind and I literally have to fight the shit on my own
I be wanting to text the boy y'all
And tell someone other than my fucking three friends some funny shit but can't
I can't
I won't
Why?
BECAUSE HE DOESNT FUCKING CARE AND HELL LEAVE MY ASS ON READ WITH NO REMORSE
this nigga forgets my birthday every year
Don't remind someone to care about you sis
Don't. No fucking exceptions.
I hate that I fell for you
That I believed all the lies
I'm pissed
I tried to delete photos, but I like memories
Man
One day
To think one day you won't matter and I won't have to cry myself to sleep or have an emotional breakdown in the wee hours of the morning
Man
It feels good, but if you're everywhere I try to go to escape tf I gotta do to get away from you?
I'm not killing myself that's dead
You're wild asf for this
I cared
U didn't
You were in my dream harassing me there too
My mind is tired as shit and I've had enough
Please
Let me live.
So the moral of the story or the lesson I suppose sis, is that all guys aren't bad, but the first sign of evil
LEAVE and don't look back
I've given so many chances, I've ignored and all of that I've tried man I really have
And u know what , it started breaking me because regardless of how I felt it didn't matter
This is like an abusive ass relationship
I let a little ass "I think I'm grown ass boy " fuck me up and that's not okay
From now on there's no remorse
I don't trust
And no one is safe
It's his fault
My heart is WELP lol to a heart
I hope that everyone one day can find happiness in its most vulnerable form, no tears, no frowns, only laughs and smiles.
I pray someone is out there praying for me, wishing for me because I'm hurt and I don't have faith and it hurts
So sis, smile until the pain fades away
Laugh until you forget how miserable things actually are
Try your best to enjoy yourself, because when I die I don't want to regret the "one that got away", I want someone to remember me as that one
And maybe when he's 80 (if he lives that long)
Hell struggle sleeping at night
He'll cry himself to sleep for months
He'll try to give his all and get nothing in return
One day he'll learn, but that's not up to me
And I'm okay with that, because karma is a bitch and she will bite you in the ass .
He'll regret it, and he'll wish someone cared like I did.
I wonder if he thinks about it
If he cries about it
If that's why he's so fucked up because it added to his list of issues
O well
Fuck him.
Life will get better sis, I pray so.
Love, Llogan 💕