Over Again ( A Kian Lawley / O2L )

Chapter 16 - Realization

I walk back up the stairs, trying not to think about what I'm about to talk to Kian about. I hold the water bottles tightly in one hand before turning the knob and walking in. He still sits on the edge of his bed, looking calmer than he did before. I hand him one of the bottles before I sit next to him.

A few seconds go by, dragging slowly with the silence hanging in the air. I try to think of something to say, but nothing comes.

"Maddie, I can't do this," Kian says. His tone makes my heart ache because I know how upset he is. It makes me hurt even more because he's upset over another girl. I want to be the only girl he cares about enough to cry. But I'm not.

"Kian," I say, almost apologizing, but he stops me.

"This one thing, a baby, has screwed my life up entirely. Emily is demanding so much from me, and now I've lost Andrea." His voice cracks when he talks and he seems genuinely upset.

I feel terrible for him. I wish I could fix everything for him because I would. I'd do anything for this boy.

Wait, this is not my fault at all, so why am I feeling as if I should be doing something to fix this? I had nothing to do with any of this.

He may have screwed Emily just because he missed me, but I wasn't the one who forgot the condom. Kian was.

"One thing I have realized though, Madison, is that you're the only person I could ever talk to about it. If I talked to the boys, all they would do is act like their listening and try to forget about it. But you, I can talk to you because you understand me more emotionally. I can talk to you easier than Andrea because we're friends and I don't have to worry about fucking up our relationship because of a mistake I made."

Ouch. That hurt. Definitely just got put in the friend zone.

I nod before he begins talking about Andrea and what happened between them.

"At first, she just cried. She cried for at least an hour and I just held her. Then she grew so mad..."

I listen, also thinking about how sad him talking about it makes me.

He expresses all of his feelings about Andrea first, saying that he wasn't sure if he loved her or not. This hurts me a little bit on the inside because I don't want him to love her. I want him to love me again.

Did I really just think that? I can't want him to love me anymore. We're over and I have Skylar.

Then he goes on to talk about how he hardly remembers the night that he got Emily pregnant. He tells me that he vaguely remembers even having sex with her.

Just mentioning the fact that he had sex with another girl makes envy burn through my veins. I don't like the idea of someone even being remotely around Kian in that way.

I eventually realize something through all of Kian's talking.



No matter how much I want to deny it, no matter how much I wish I could ignore it, he had me. He didn't know it yet, but I would do absolutely anything for him, even after all we've been though.



*****

"Alright I'll see you later," I tell Kian, walking out of his house. I know that if I don't leave now, I'll never leave and I'll miss work.

I rush back to my apartment, quickly getting changed before rushing back out to go to work. I arrive at the mall, immidiately going to the back to check in. My manager gives me tasks before I start doing what I was assigned.

I walk to a table, folding a shirt that someone threw back onto it after picking it up. After I straighten the order of the shirts on the table, I walk to another, doing the same.

I continue this, putting things where they go and organizing, for the next hour or two, helping out customers when they need me to.

Around 6, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I finish my task before I pull out the iPhone and check the message.

When I see that it's from Skylar, my heart skips a beat and I feel guilt consume me.

The entire time I was with Kian, I didn't think about Skylar once. I pushed thoughts of him to the farest corners of my mind so that I wouldn't guilt myself into leaving. Leaving would leave Kian even more stressed about the whole situation.

I know I have no obligation to give Kian any help or support, but I've realized something.

I want to help Kian. I want to be there for him no matter what, even if I get shoved in the friend zone.

After all, that's what friends are for.

I open the text message, feeling my guilt grow and expand to the size of the universe.

The text has four small words with a picture attached.

The message said, "We need to talk."

Really, I wouldn't feel so terrible about it if the picture wasn't attached to the message.

The picture is a screenshot of a tweet with an twitter picture.

The picture is me walking into the O2L house with a caption, "Are Maddie and Kian seeing each other?"

My heart drops.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short chapter blah blah, typical Delilah.

Now, a LOT of people have been asking for Kian's point of view, but I'm afraid that if I do it'll ruin the ending for everyone, even me.
So, we will vote.

1.) "I want you to post a chapter in Kian's point of view and not get surprised at the end of the story yet I will get to understand what's going in with him"

2.) "I want you to not post a chapter in Kian's point of view and not get to see the inner workings of his mind but I will be pleasantly surprised in the end"

There are pros and cons to both, so choose wisely!

Oh and I'm giving a reward to anyone who makes me a banner for this with a quote from it on it :)

Love you guys to the moon and back!

Don't forget to vote and comment your thoughts!

xox -Delilah