James Potter and the Time Turner

Chapter 12

A/N I feel like it's important to add that i'm pretending like the scene where Harry dies and talks to Dumbledore DIDN'T HAPPEN. I'm doing it now.

ALSO THERE IS NO PAST HARRY. WHEN YOU READ HARRY, IT'S ALL FUTURE HARRY. IDK HOW IT WORKED OUT LIKE THAT.

Harry sat on the floor, running his fingers through his daughter's vibrant red locks. He glanced up at Ron and Hermione, exchanging looks, and speaking in the way only very good friends can talk. While this may be one of the happiest days he's had in a very long time, Harry also knew it was time to say goodbye again.

But before he could even think about summoning the courage it would require to say goodbye to his family, a very worn-down man in the corner caught his eye. Harry stood, gently setting his daughters head on the ground, and smiled reassuringly. He then made his way through the paint splattered living room, following Dumbledore to the kitchen, as many curious eyes watched them.

Once they were alone, Dumbledore let out an uneven breath, leaning heavily against the counter and looking as if the entire world weighed on his shoulders, but on his heart as well.

"Harry." He choked out, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. "You have no idea how unbelievable sorry I am." He simply radiated sorrow from every part of his soul, and it took everything Harry had to keep from crying as well.

"When you were gone, I was so furious at you for so long. I didn't understand how you expected me to be able to do what you left me to do. Everyone thought you left me this plan of what to look for and where to go, and you didn't. I was terrified that the whole mission was just some... Some sick kind of joke... and you were just up there somewhere laughing at me fall to pieces...I thought you didn't care about me and everything was a lie." Harry whispered, voice breaking and revealing some of the raw pain he still kept within him for years. Dumbledore watched him, hands shaking and tears running down into his beard.

"When I started to learn about who the apparent 'Real' Albus Dumbledore was, the one who was too smart and too ambitious for his family, the one who kept his family secret because of his shame, I couldn't help but feel betrayed, feel angry at myself for being so naive that I thought that I actually knew you. Because you knew everything about me and you were the only person I could actually depend on, and I knew absolutely nothing about you. Not a single real thing that mattered.

"But then I watched your conversation with Severus and I learned that you knew. You knew all along I would have to die, and we were both just kidding ourselves because I knew deep down all along. It should've felt like the ultimate betrayal but it didn't, because I understood. This was what I was meant to do, and all I ever was to you was a tool, a means for the end."

Harry was crying now too, the pain and hurt he had locked away for 20 years bubbling to the surface, and he still felt the nasty sting of betrayal, despite him stating otherwise.

"Harry, Harry please. Please try to understand the horrible mistakes of an old man." He pleaded, grabbing ahold of Harry's hands.

"I knew. I knew ever since first year when I saw you were so incredibly brave and so pure of heart, you foiled Lord Voldemort's plans for the second time. I knew the day would come when I would have to tell you, but I looked into your eyes, filled with so much youthful innocence, I couldn't take it away so fast. Every year, I knew the day approached, but I couldn't bear it. I cared so much, Harry, I cared so much for you that I couldn't bring myself to do it."

He spoke in a hushed, pained voice, broken and regretful, and so incredibly heavy.

"I promised myself I would keep you from such painful knowledge as long as possible, because I was watching you grow into the amazing man you are today, the most incredible person I know, and I thought maybe I could handle things, maybe I could destroy the horcruxes and find a way to the kill the soul in you without hurting you because I love you Harry, I truly do. I selfishly thought if I didn't tell you I could prevent the pain."