I exhale, even if I am physically incapable of it. But beyond my dysfunctional lungs, I know I am breathless.
Simon is lying in my arms. When did I start caring? Maybe the night I first saw him at the City of Bones. Maybe the night I saved him from the vampires. Maybe the night he came back at the hotel Dumort.
But tonight, he is dead. By my fault. Who thought he would come back for me, and find death instead? I am death. I have always brought it to anyone coming too close. I thought I could change, I thought I would not hurt the boy. Never trust a vampire. Eternity makes you insensitive to lies.
I had promised I would look after him. Why could I not? Is it because I do not have a heart? No compassion? I thought I did. What was that feeling, then? Those annoying butterflies in my stomach when Simon was nearby? The glimpse of warmth in my body when I heard his name?
How ironical. The vampire falling in love with the prey. So typical. But I cannot help it. Simon is—was—lovable. Extremely lovable. And I got lost in his game.
What if I shouted to the world the hatred I feel towards myself for what happened? It would barely echo. Who would care? I'm just a vampire who has lost his soulmate.
