Two of You (Vmin)

Silence. (6)

As a child I remember never liking silence, never liking the ringing in my ears when the volume was too low in the room and when the air was dense. I never liked the feeling silence would bring me, like unspoken words were filling the air which caused the feeling of density. I remember every time silence would hang in the air there would always be that voice ripping away at it, helping me breathe again, it was his voice, so calming, like a soft chirping of birds waking you up from a slumber.

However, as I grew, silence was something I didn't despise, something that I also didn't adore. Silence became a balance because sometimes I would long to hear the ringing in my ears but other times I need something, someone pulling me out of the dark void of my thoughts because no one should be left in complete dead silence while their thoughts are loud.

The point is, now I didn't want silence. I didn't want to hear the lanky trees being pushed against the wind, I didn't want to hear scratchy coughs or clammy hands rubbing together. I wanted to be asked if I was okay because for some reason it was my words, my unspoken words that compacted the dense air. I never really understood why we would let this deadly lack of noise sit, never really knew why us as humans long for it and how we don't manage to pick up on the amount of pain it holds. Silence is never cruel when you're alone but like salt in a wound when you're not. It was when I watched them all leave, watched every single human leave, leaving me alone feeling the harsh sun hit against my back as it slowly set behind the mountains.

Minutes went by and the dense feeling in my chest merely grew stronger as my throat itched for the words begging to escape to fill the quiet air. However, I pushed my teeth against my tongue, feeling pain strike throughout my tongue but compleltly preventing myself from screaming out. I may have asked for anyone to ask, to speak, to say absolutely anything but the voice that managed to be brave enough to break past this deadly 'peace' was not a voice I wanted to hear.

"Oh, dear Jimin you're actually here."

Hearing her voice after months of being without her, months where my anxiety was at an all time low and anger was ceased. It was as though a strong gush of wind hit me and a harsh breathe of air filled my lungs bringing tears to my eyes. Succsessfully blinking away the burning tears, I let out a shaky breath replying to her remark.

"Yeah, I mean he is my brother." My voice came out lower than I have predicted, rougher and relased the fear I desired to hide away.

I watched her lipstick coated lips form into a close mouth, hatred filled smile. I felt every bit of my body tense up and fear gradually build up, my plams begin to grow clamy and mind begin to go hazy. The world around me felt smaller and the cold air felt much more icy, growing goose bumps on my skin. Her teeth soon came into view, icy white teeth blinding me as she shifted her weight from her other foot, standing at a much more intimidating stance. In this moment the only thing running through my mind is to leave, to never hear her voice again but like the world says, we have to face our fears head on. I swallow thick, feeling the fear drain away ever so slightly as I stand my ground waiting for her hateful words to fill my mind and eat away at me later tonight.

"He was nothing to you Jimin. You were hardly in his life." She scoffed.

Swiping my tongue over my chapped lips, I averted my gaze away from her strong one before trapping my bottom lip between my teeth trying to hold back the sudden anger. However even if blood began to drip from my lips, it wouldn't have stopped the words that passed my lips.

"You were never a mother to him but an authority who ruined his life and mine."

Instantly I regrated opening my mouth, watched her eyes narrow and anger fill those brown orbs. I felt my eyes widen as a sudden strong rush of wanting to escape washed over me. What happened next brought fear and shock to my mother, had her stumbling back and had me nervous. Strong arms wrapped around my waist pulling me back until my body came in contact with a body slightly taller than mine. It didn't take me long to know who exactly was behind me, his voice, his scent was now something I have come to love and notice. His name passed my mothers lips like venom, like poison in her throat.