Well...Not Anymore: Chapter 20

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A/N--So yeah, this chapter is kind of short and I apologize.  I've been going through kind of a rough patch at school and writing was getting hard for me.  Sorry!  I promise the next chapter will be longer and won't be such a filler.  

But even though this chapter is a filler, please vote and leave awesome comments :)

"Please come back with me?" he asks for the millionth time later that night-well, probably early the next morning in fact--as I walk him out to his car.  

After our big conversation on the porch and after everything was pretty much settled, we came back into the house due to the ever growing chill outside. My blanket was starting not to be enough since we'd decided to share, and I really just wanted to escape inside and curl up against something. 

Apparently Lucas had been thinking the same thing because the second we'd sat down on Zara's couch with a bowl of cheese dip and chips, he'd brought me onto his lap and had rested his chin on my shoulder. That cheese dip had to be reheated before we'd even taken our first bites. 

And that's pretty much how it was the entire night. When we weren't eating like the starving teenagers we are; he was apologizing over and over, kissing me, or twirling my hair around his fingers. If it's not completely obvious yet, I've been grinning like an absolute fool all night.  

But that's okay, because Lucas has been grinning like an utter goon too.  

And I know how he's feeling right now, how he feels like he just doesn't want the night to end and he wants me to come sleep with him like I did when I was staying at his house, because I'm feeling the exact same way. But there's a bigger part of me saying that this relationship, as screwed up as it already is, needs somewhat of a sense of normalcy. And me sleeping all curled around him every night isn't normal. Absence makes the heart grow fonder right? Well I want his heart as fond of me as possible. 

To accomplish this, we don't need to be around each other every single second. 

Like I really, really want to be. 

"I'm sorry," I say, leaning in and pressing a kiss against his clothed chest. I've been kissing random parts of him all night and even though it's making me feel somewhat like a perv, I really don't care. The boy's just really damn kissable. "But I think I should keep staying here. I think it'll be best in the end." 

He gives me a dramatic pout, "How is it best if we're not together?" 

Although his words make every single girlish fiber in me cheer out in happiness, I know that I need to stay strong in order for this relationship to work. I reach out and run my fingers over his stubbly cheek, finding contentment when his eyes close because of the pleasure. I'm glad I'm not the only one.  

I say, "Because I want this...whatever between us to be normal. And it's not normal if we're together every second of every day." 

"So?" he smiles once his eyes are back open and trained on my face. "Look, I haven't slept good the past two nights and that's because you haven't been there with me. Do you really want to be responsible for my further sleep deprivation?" 

I roll my eyes at how melodramatic he's being about all of this and then smack him on the shoulder. I say, "Stop being such a tit, man." 

He laughs out loud at this, but before I can say anything in response, he leans in and puts an almost bruising kiss to my lips. But I love the ruggedness of it, the almost animalistic quality because it shows me that he really is as intense about this whole thing as I am. Although I know he's been true when he tells me he loves me, it's still nice to be reassured.  

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