Chapter 22 - Nina's Virtues

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After the fiasco with Hyun's date, I've felt hesitant about answering to other dating profiles. It never occurred to me that someone could pass themselves as another person. This time it was a silly kid looking for love, but it could have been worse.

I have called Kent, even emailed Brendan. I needed advice and reassurance. They were kind to me.

Kent told me I'm trying too hard and that I should let relationships grow naturally. He said there isn't an expiration date in my love life and that I will know when the guy is the right one. Maybe I'm love blind.

Brendan was funny. He offered to come here all the way from Japan to give Hyun a wedgie. I considered that proposition.

When Declan came to bring a package, I told him about my misery and he offered to take me out on a friendly date to take off the bad taste of my last one. I accepted.

I've only seen him twice when he's come to the barn, and he's kind and good looking, definitely reminds me of someone else too. I hope the date becomes a bit more than friendly.

See? These are the kind of thoughts I should avoid. I feel hopeful, only to be let down by the guy, by myself, by the damn universe. I probably did something horrible in the past and karma is coming to bite my ass back.

"You are in a funky mood today," Taylor says while pointing at a box of pasta on a high shelf.

"I'm still upset about the boy," I pick the box he wants and place it in the supermarket cart.

"Understandable. I found it funny in the beginning but then I felt worried. There are plenty of psychos out there. I feel guilty as well since I opened the profile for you,"

"Don't feel bad about it. We never expected anything weird to happen. I will close it soon. I don't want to risk being catfished again,"

"How are you going to meet guys then?" he grabs a jar of sauce and add it to the growing pile of groceries.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm not meant to have a boyfriend," I shrug, and add another jar for myself.

"Now you are being negative, Nina,"

"I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of the disappointment. Nine failed dates,"

"You still have one over," he says as we enter the baking aisle. "Maybe that is the prize one,"

"Declan offered to take me out. As friends," I blurt.

"Did you accept?" he stops with a box of cake mix in his hand. He looks at me with a disapproving face... or is it disappointment?

"I did, but I don't think it will work,"

"Why is that?"

"Because it's a date with me and something always goes wrong," I whine.

Taylor holds my hand between his.

"No, they don't go wrong because of you. Axel was arranged by your mother who felt pity for the guy, not for you. Jett needs to grow up and realize that in the end all fandoms are the same. RJ had no sense of humor, and Xander should be in jail for being a pervert,"

I chuckle at his words while we continue down the aisle.

"Kent sounds like a good guy but doesn't have anything in common with you, and Keon needs to learn to let go of the past. Brendan is a good pal who needs to read the signs better. Nash, even though I idolize him, will realize that he wasted his opportunity. Hyun... well the little dick needs to become a man first,"

"A compilation of my fails then," I sigh.

"No, not your fails. A summary of your virtues. Nina, you are a strong woman. When people doubted your business venture, you went ahead and proved them wrong. No one will ever feel pity for you.

You are inclusive and love everyone equally, whether they love Star Wars or Star Trek, even the Bronies. You are fun and God knows I have choked laughing with you. I find it special that you are saving yourself for the man of your dreams, and he will be damn lucky,"

My eyes start tearing. I smile at the people who walk by us and look at me with concern.

"You are true to yourself but don't fear to try new stuff, like camping or that awful tea with tapioca we drank once. You value the past, see the beauty in it and share the happy memories with people. I have seen you throw an extra trinket in a box, just because you like making people happy. That is how you are Nina. It's the reason people love you,"

I hug Taylor for his lovely words. Why can't I meet a guy like him? Why can't I be with him?

"Don't put yourself down. I lo- appreciate you lots. Lots!"

"Thanks Taylor,"

We finish doing the grocery shopping. His van is at the garage for service and he needed some stuff.

My phone beeps as we reach my van.

"It's from Lisa. She will make dinner and wants to know if we want to join,"

"Sure," Taylor says while placing bags inside the van. "So far she hasn't poisoned me, so I guess it's okay,"

"Is she a better cook than me?"

Taylor doesn't answer and only smiles.

"Jeez! Lie to me at least," I say, making him laugh.

I help Taylor to bring his groceries to his apartment. I chill on the couch while he makes us coffee.

"Here you go," he hands me a donut and a mug from a tray carefully balanced on his lap.

"Any dates for you?" I ask after sipping on the hot drink.

"Nah. My last one gave me a good idea of what waits for me out there. I've thought about signing with an agency for undateables,"

"Is that even a word?"

"Yeah, the clients have something that makes them unsuitable for the average dating market. Maybe I can meet a girl with a disability who won't mind my condition much. If I'm rejected by someone, let it be because a mismatch in personality,"

There goes my chance with Taylor.

"How was your doctor appointment? Did the manual therapy of the last months help?" I change the topic to lick my wounds.

"He told me I will never walk again. I will feel my legs more as the therapies continue. Last time I even managed to move my knee to the therapist's hand. The problem is that the damages to my spine won't let me have enough strength to stand up,"

"It was worth the try,"

"Yeah. I was hoping I could feel my dick," Taylor grins.

A snort leaves my nose and my donut rolls to the floor. Count on Taylor to make things silly.

"When is your date with Declan?"

"Friday. We are meeting at Waca Grill,"

"Are you sure you want that? Jett ruined the place for you,"

"That's the idea. A fun meal with a new friend at my favorite place. Start fresh and build happy memories,"

Taylor smiles at me but it doesn't reach his eyes. We could have all of that; the dates, the memories and the happiness. Our kiss was an accident and it seems to have meant more for me than him. I will always be his best friend, but he will never see me as a girlfriend option.

"I will head home and will pick you for dinner at Lisa. It should be fun with Evan there," I say after finishing my coffee.

"Nina..." Taylor starts and I turn to look at him. "If your upcoming date doesn't work..."

His pause lasts an eternity. His eyes show some emotion I don't understand.

"Don't give up, okay?"

I nod and close the door. What does he mean?

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