✓ | EPISKEY → remus lupin [ discontinued ]

Chapter Sixteen

The next day, classes went by in a blur. Remus had tried his hardest to talk to Alanna about him leaving for Christmas break far earlier than expected, but he never had the right time. It seemed the Ravenclaw girl was all jittery around him again, like she was when he told her he liked her.

Remus knew it was stupid a foolish to tell Alanna about his crush. After all, it was just a stupid crush and he'd get over it eventually. But it seemed that the more time the girl spent in his company, the further the crush developed. He had internally scolded himself multiple times for telling her and regretted it when she started avoiding him. But he couldn't exactly take it back now.

Eventually, after third period had ended on Tuesday, Remus caught Alanna hurrying into the Great Hall behind Tiffany, Elise Walburg, Maddison Gilmore and Brooke Jeckels. She looked cut off from the four girls as she trailed behind them, and Remus thought she looked like a puppy with its tail between its legs. He couldn't help but feel sorry for the girl. But at the same time, Remus wanted to seize the opportunity to talk to her.

Walking straight past the Great Hall, Remus grabbed the sleeve of Alanna's Ravenclaw robes and tugged her behind him.

"Wha -- Remus?" Alanna asked, immediately feeling uncomfortable as she saw that the boy was pulling her along. Remus didn't answer her as he continued to pull her along the corridor away from the Great Hall. "Remus, stop -- Remus, let go!"

Alanna finally pulled her robes from Remus' grip and stopped in her tracks. She glared at Remus as he turned around to face her. Both first-years had rather uncomfortable looks on their faces. Alanna spoke first.

"What d'you want, Remus?" she sighed. She crossed her arms in irritation. Remus opened his mouth and closed it again. Truthfully, he didn't know what he wanted. Just to say goodbye? To ask her where they stood now that she was out of her 'coma'?

Remus scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "I'm leaving today," he finally murmured. Alanna's glare faded into an expression of surprise, and then sadness.

"What? Why?" she asked in a small voice.

"My mum's really sick, and I need to take care of her," Remus answered. "I just wanted to say goodbye."

"But you'll be back next term, right? After the holidays?"

Remus nodded vigorously. "Yeah, definitely."

The conversation died as neither first-year knew what to say. They stood in each other's presence awkwardly, avoiding each other's gaze. Remus sighed and finally spoke.

"Alanna," he said quietly. "I want to know where we stand."

"What?" Alanna asked, faking confusion. Remus gave her a look.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, so don't play dumb. I told you I like you, and you just avoided me. Then you were asleep for three weeks, and now you're back to avoiding me."

Alanna bit her lip in guilt. She didn't want it to seem that obvious that she was avoiding him. Hell, she didn't want to avoid him at all. But Alanna hated being confronted about these things. She hated being confronted in general. She didn't like to feel awkward or guilty. It tore her apart in the end, and she just ended up crying for hours.

"I didn't mean to!" Alanna blurted out finally when she realised Remus was waiting for her to speak. "Honestly, I don't like avoiding people. But I don't like feeling guilty either."

"So why'd you do it?" Remus asked. "If you don't like it?"

Alanna shrugged. "It seemed like the logical thing to do. It's what they do in all the movies. The guy tells the girl he likes her, and she just runs away and avoids him for a while until he finally talks to her again."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Well, you're not in a movie, Al. I don't think those kind of movies have Sleeping Beauty in them."

Alanna gave a small smile. "Not all of them." She paused. "But if you really think about it, everyone is in a movie. Their own little movie. They play it out how they want. They're directing their movie."

Remus thought for a moment. "Am I in your movie?" he asked quietly.

"Of course," Alanna answered almost immediately. She paused. "I mean, you kind of have to be now, right? You're the knight in shining armour that saves me from my tower."

Remus' face turned slightly pink. Another silence overtook the two first-years. After a few minutes, Remus spoke up again.

"So where do we stand?" he asked her. "I just want to know before I leave."

Alanna shrugged. "I guess we'll just--"

The bell rang then, signalling the end of lunch and the beginning of classes. Alanna glanced at Remus before seizing the opportunity to escape. She hurried past Remus and down the corridor. He turned and watched her with a frown.

"Alanna?" he called to her. She didn't answer him. Instead, she hurried around the corner. Remus sighed in defeat.

- - -

"He likes me!" Alanna whispered hurriedly to Tiffany when she arrived at the dungeons for Potions. Tiffany was standing alone, leaning against a wall and waiting for Alanna's arrival. "Tiff, he likes me!"

"Whoa, slow down!" Tiffany said, holding up her hands. "Where have you been, Allie? I was looking for you, but you weren't in the Hall, so I just ate with Elise, Maddi and Brooke."

"I'm sorry," Alanna said quickly. She could see the Gryffindors coming down the corridor. "Remus kind of dragged me halfway down the corridor. Tiff, he likes me!"

"Remus?"

"No, James," Alanna said with an eye-roll. "Yes, Remus! He told me ..." She paused, wondering if Tiffany would explode when she told her. "He told me before I was in that 'coma'."

"A month ago?!" Tiffany shouted.

"Ssh!" Alanna shushed her friend. "Not so loud!"

"He told you he likes you a month ago and you're telling me this now?!"

"Yes, now shut up and listen!" Tiffany shut her mouth and listened to her friend speak. "If you haven't noticed, I've been avoiding him since yesterday. I would've been avoiding him for a lot longer, but he got to me before I had the chance to go with you into the Great Hall." She paused to take a deep breath to try and calm herself. "He wants to know where we stand with each other. I ran off."

"You what?!" Tiffany said in a high-pitched tone. "Allie, you never run away when a guy asks you that!"

"I'm sorry, I panicked! I didn't know what to do!"

"Well ... do you like him?" Tiffany asked. Alanna shrugged and pulled the strands of hair that had fallen from her bun.

"I don't know, Tiff! I'm so confused!"

She buried her face in her hands before she heard familiar laughter. Her eyes widened and she squealed.

"Come on, off we go. Into the classroom," she said, grabbing Tiffany's wrist and dragging her into the Potions classroom.

"So you're going to avoid him again?" Tiffany asked, unimpressed. She and Alanna seated themselves at a table next to two other Ravenclaw first-years that they didn't know. Alanna nodded.

"Yes. Problem?"

"Uh, yes," Tiffany said in a 'duh' tone. "You can't avoid him now! You have to tell him how you feel!"

"I don't know how I feel!"

"Then just tell him that!" Tiffany said in frustration. "Look, Allie. When guys like girls, they don't give up easily. They will keep fighting until they get their girl. And then they'll keep fighting for her after that as well."

Alanna bit her lip. "What do I do, Tiff?"