You and I » Lip Gallagher [1] {EDITING}

»part 17 » five more minutes

The shattered glass embedded into my knuckles was nothing compared to the shattered pieces that was my heart.

What once was is now gone.

It went as quickly as it came.

Destructive.

"You're lucky you didn't shatter any bones." Vee remarked as she removed pieces of broken glass from my hand with tweezers.

After the hurricane that was Cash Monaco, Vee dragged me into her kitchen by my ear and has been lecturing me for about an hour about the uselessness of hospitals and ER's.

I was sitting on top of her kitchen table feeling like I was on the biggest hangover of my life and I didn't even drink. But what I'd give to have a beer right now.

"Those doctors wouldn't know the difference between a fracture and sprain if it bit them in their checkbooks." She continued to ramble on as she placed bloody glass on the table.

I couldn't speak. My mouth was sewed shut with my own ignorance. I don't know what I was thinking. Lip and I couldn't be together. Not in this world or the next. We were too different for each other to ever work. He was too careless and I cared too much.

I always knew that kid hated my guts.

"Does any of that hurt?" Kev asked in awe as he watched Vee remove a large chunk of glass from my right knuckle. His eyes looked like they were too big for his face.

I shrugged as I stared into space thinking about my negligence. I should have killed Karen Jackson.

Truth was, I couldn't feel a thing besides my addict tearing my heart into pieces and tossing it around like confetti. It was her happy day. She got what she wanted. Me. Alone.

Our heads snapped towards the door as Fiona burst through the living room.

"What the fuck was that?" She said in a raised tone while looking disarray. Her hair was as bad as mine, her eyeliner was smudged, her clothes didn't match, and her bags looked as big as mine. At least she made it look breathtaking.

I cleared my throat before finding my voice, "I'm sorry, Fiona. I know I can't say it enough. I'll pay for all the damages." I looked down, "I understand if you don't want me coming around anymore."

Who would want this self-loathing, destructive, crazy ass, leach around anyway? No one. Certainly not Lip.

She placed her hand on her forehead as she looked at Vee removing glass, "Is she gonna be okay?"

"It'll definitely scar, but she didn't break or fracture anything, which is good." She continued to work.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing as I thought about the look in Lip's eyes when I called him Frank. It wasn't true. I knew it wasn't true. Lip was too good to ever end up like Frank. His heart was too genuine, unlike mine.