The Older Potter // HP Older Sister

59

C H A P T E R  59

Remus groaned in agony, his head thumping back against the stone wall of his office as he felt his bones splinter beneath his skin. It was just his luck that the full moon would fall on Christmas Eve this year.

The Wolfsbane didn't seem to be as effective this month, though Remus could have been imagining it. December transformation felt more painful than the November and October full moons had, as if Snape hadn't included as much poppy seed extract as the recipe called for.

But it didn't matter. As long as he was still a harmless wolf once the moon was fully risen, it didn't matter how much pain he was in.

Remus felt himself drifting out of reality, and he almost breathed a sigh of relief. If he could just shut off for a few hours... if he could just not think........

When the wolf opened its eyes in Remus's office, everything was clearer, sharper. He knew his sense of smell was stronger, and as he prowled around the room, his paws rustling softly against the carpet, he inhaled deeply. He could smell the flurries of snow in the air, the dust motes swirling through the cracks around the windowpanes, the ash rising from the dying embers in the fireplace.

He growled, low in his chest, as his yellow eyes found the latch on the door into the classroom. He reared up onto his hindquarters and batted at the knob, snarling as the spell he had placed on it in his human form caused his paw to slip off. But the still-rational part of his brain knew it was for the best. There were still students in the castle this Christmas. Not many....but a few.

The wolf slunk on his belly over to the threadbare rug before the hearth and sat back on his haunches. The heat radiating from what was left of the kindling warmed his fur, and he sighed, the air huffing out through his damp snout. One last shudder rippled through his frame as the transformation solidified, and some small part of his mind registered that Harry and Samantha were probably still somewhere in the castle. Samantha knew of his condition so he didn't pay much mind to that, but Harry didn't....and he didn't know what to think of Harry found out.

The wolf slid down to lie prone, propping his head between his paws. He had promised himself he wouldn't think of it -- he would get through this full moon, and then he would leave the castle, even if only for a little while. It was what was best. It was what was best for everybody.

• • • • •

Christmas with his father was an ordeal.

Not since he had finished at Hogwarts as a student had Remus spent an extended period of time with his father, let alone around the holidays. And yet as they sat across from each other in Lyall's sitting room, after a dinner in which Lyall had talked mostly about his work at the Ministry of Magic, that painting of a family that had never really existed staring down at them, Remus felt as if no time had passed at all. He was still small, still scared, still the target of his father's disgust poorly disguised as care.

"So, son," Lyall began, taking a sip of his eggnog, "how are your classes progressing?"

Remus swirled his own eggnog around in his glass. The classes were going well, he supposed, but that seemed such a small portion of his life at Hogwarts that it almost wasn't worth mentioning. Dementors had gained access to the Hogwarts grounds, and, Remus was certain, Sirius had too. He was lying to almost everyone on the faculty about what he knew or suspected. And he was slated to give Harry Potter private lessons that would enable him to best his greatest fear.

He sipped his own drink. "Fine, I suppose. I just finished marking the exams for the end of the fall term, and nearly everyone did very well."

Lyall scoffed. "Back in my day, it was actually difficult to get high marks, Remus. Competition fosters rigor."